Greg Martin

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

@RavenSoftware can’t wait for your STOOPID Numbers event to be over with. So sick of Stitch talking so loudly in my ear. How do you mess that up so badly? Wayyyy too loud

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

@RavenSoftware your numbers challenge just cost me a game. Stitch is shouting numbers with all these background electronic sound effects in my ear and I couldn’t hear. I spectate the rest of the game and other plays left in the match also have to suffer. Way too loud. Fix it

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

@SurgeBudar @RavenSoftware Yeah I spoke too soon. My game just crashed

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

@SurgeBudar @RavenSoftware I fixed this by not using a new nato operator, did you pick a new nato operator? If you didn’t, then my game’s randomly fixed, but I was having that problem too until I switched back to an older operator

[Robert Horn @robert_horn5]

I can't believe I'm engaged. I'm such a lucky man 😍😍

[Daddy Mikey @GG_Mikey]

fidget spinners are whack, when I was in 8th grade we'd shove a spoonful of cinnamon down our throats and try to survive for fun

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

@robert_horn5 to secretly hold hands

[Karissa Jean @kayjkincaid]

Yesterday I interrupted my nap to take these pics cuz I'm a patriot https://t.co/ofCwwKeHOU

[Greg Martin @AWESOM_O_4OOO]

People watching at airport. Saw a guy drop his pizza, pick it up, and move to different area. Now he's enjoying. Granted it was a $4 slice.

[Karissa Jean @kayjkincaid]

Which is worse: realizing what you thought was a parody is, in fact, real--or realizing what you thought was real is, in fact, a parody

[Karissa Jean @kayjkincaid]

Open your eyes, America. He's already robbed us of the freedom to sincerely use 'trump' as a verb. What's next?

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Biden Gets Grow Light Delivered To White House Under Fake Namehttp://onion.com/1R4ZibX

[Karissa Jean @kayjkincaid]

Always striving to increase my earning potential so that someday I can invest in a real hairdryer and stop using the heat vents in my car

[The Onion @TheOnion]

'What You're Doing Is Weird And Wrong,' Small Voice In Back Of Kim Jong-Un's Head Reports https://t.co/v0Ph0U2lpq

[Karissa Jean @kayjkincaid]

I'm not always late, but when I am it's due to repeated attempts to arrange my scarf in an effortless yet aesthetically pleasing manner

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

We Asked 22 U.S. Judges About The Most Scientifically Ambitious Punishment They Ever Gave To A Shoplifter https://t.co/rXjRd7bj3s