Advisor Snark

What I really meant to say during that advising session

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Congratulations, you've figured out how to use AI to rephrase your plagiarism. But it says here your work is 95% AI-generated.

Revise and resubmit.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

The denials of bigotry and racism no longer have credence. At our president's and his cronies' direction, there is literally an official Department of Education website dedicated to ending

Diversity
Equity
Inclusion

They want their segregation, favoritism, and marginalism back.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Hug someone who works in financial aid today. After dealing with more than a year of the FAFSA simplication fiasco, now they're up against federal FVT/GE deadlines despite government errors and delays in those processes as well.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Here at Snark University, we are excited to announce the Spouse/parent Typical Feedback Unit (STFU) for family and relatives of our students. Please take advantage of this excellent resource to learn all about how we protect our students’ information!

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Sink-o de Grade-o

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

(The joke wasn’t funny and assault isn’t funny but in their aftermath the memes are funny.)

[Jordan Grimes (on Bluesky @cafedujord) @cafedujord]

A Berkeley homeowner who spends half his time at his second home in New Zealand used a California environmental law passed by Ronald Reagan to cut enrollment at one of the best universities in the world.

This sentence is unbelievable, yet somehow entirely factually accurate.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Not all deadlines can be extended. In some cases, late work may be accepted for less than full credit. Please check the syllabus for details.

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: Major League Baseball extends deadline for labor agreement to 5 p.m. on Tuesday for salvaging March 31 opening day. https://t.co/SjFyODFHxj

[Connor Ewing @ConnorMEwing]

Students Don't Read Syllabi, Exhibit 58623

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

“I turned it in last week before the deadline.”

Oh? To whom?

“I think it was whoever usually sits at the front. I know I handed it to someone right over there.”

So you somehow turned in a form that exists only in an automated online request/approval system?

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

@jakereuter10

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Oh, you’re a senior, and you’re just now declaring your major, and you’re mad at us because you’re missing some graduation requirements? See you next year!

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

@JRobin19 How many burner accounts do you have?

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

What Dreams May Come. Very colorful leaves. Will warm you right up.

Fine print: Definitely do not watch with children or anyone with delicate sensibilities regarding mortality and hereafter.

[Sue London🦄 in a Unicorn Onesie @cmdrsue]

Why don't we have cozy Autumn movies? Like Christmas movies, but all about pumpkins and leaf changes and hot cocoa and whatnot. Who has that? I want that. I need some cozy and am not ready for Christmas yet.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Overheard:

On phone with angry student: “You should go to the chair…”

Colleague, whispering: “Whoa, harsh!”

On phone: “…of the department if you can’t get a response.”

Beautifully timed pause. But we absolutely don’t recommend the death penalty here.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

Dear parents, spouses, friends, Romans, countrymen:

I can't talk to you about Johnny's collegiate record.

Thanks,
Mgmt.

[Advisor Snark @AdvisorSnark]

I just saw a high school transcript with more grades above 100 than below 100 and I hope they’re okay