alex

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Getting kicked off Jeopardy! for repeatedly making the throat slitting motion with my hand every time time I get a question right or wrong

[¿ @umlarp]

it’s as shrimple as that

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

If I shenan once

I'll shenanigan.

[kd @kdlovrr]

when i make someone i think is funny laugh

[¿ @umlarp]

doing a line of hope

[Softboy☄️ @softboywin]

soon as 10:30 a.m hit the McDonald’s workers shov all da breakfast up Dey ass

[gex @severalbird]

when the weather is good we should celebrate the weather man and carry him around on our shoulders like a hero, but when the weather is bad well…we should beat his ass and kill him

[vesky @veskyxd]

you mad weird for not letting me merge

[eve @bubblegumbword]

Interview tip: when the boss asks if you have any questions for them, ask what their body count is 💯

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

I am being strangled by a possibility

[julia @juumelo_]

I’m an empath so it really hurts my heart when you guys are fucking losers

[ravn @mfnravn]

also mandela effect is wild i swear i had more hoes than this

[Jack @FuneralDrinker]

*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not
*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not
*plucks a pube* she loves me
*plucks a pube* she loves me not

[໊ @wynavira]

i don’t freak unless froken to

[her🎀 @iam_dijah5]

Can't wait to get past whatever the fucking fuck this stage is in my life rn because genuinely what the fuck

[g @34rths]

I regret speaking and I regret not speaking

[𝓽𝓭𝓭𝔂 🐾 @popup_tddy]

Smoking weed and being emotionally unavailable is fun I see why men do this