Peter Allan

Fund manager and cycle obsessive. Loves - cycling, family, ski-ing, caffeine and AFC Wimbledon.

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@jackcurrie26 @AFCWimbledon I’m sad but also immensely proud, it’s been a genuine pleasure to watch you, really hope you go on to smash it in the Championship

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@KentWomble Fair summary Ray. Really brings it home that Davidson is not a patch on Ali Hamidi

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@footydevotion Yes, a good few years ago and you had just signed an Italian player who everyone thought was the messiah (he was materially better than anyone else you had tbf)

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

I just signed the petition demanding Liz Truss is denied a resignation honours list. Will you sign too? https://t.co/XeoJK9bE52 via @38degrees

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

I just signed the petition calling on Boris Johnson's resignation honours to be blocked. Will you sign too? https://t.co/vNO7fdYGnG via @38degrees

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@pkelsey2 @EdwardJDavey @timfarron It is fundamentally a failure of regulation which has allowed the prioritisation of dividends over capex. Re-nationalisation will be expensive and damaging for business confidence so the answer is aggressive regulation to rectify the issues

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@jimhampshire If ever you needed (more) proof Jackson is not the man for the job, that was it today. No structure, no plan, no clue

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@KentWomble No structure, no movement, no fight, no plan….no clue. Only way to sell season tickets is to announce a Management change to at least give us some [false] hope

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@AFCWimbledon I can’t even to begin to describe how bad that was…..

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@KentWomble If he gets back to the level he was at with Wycombe and Shrewsbury he would be a major asset. Certainly hasn’t looked fit enough yet

[ALASTAIR CAMPBELL @campbellclaret]

This lot really do take the piss. Elliott and Littlewood have done so much damage with their Tufton St Brextremism. If Sunak allows Johnson and Truss, the two worst PMs in history, to ‘honour’ their donors and cronies, he will be as tainted as they are https://t.co/xHhj8R63ma

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@AFCWimbledon Honestly, I don’t think it is possible to pick a single positive out of that performance

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@14thefrog @AFCWimbledon @officialcufc Looked decent on the ball. Didn’t work hard enough off the ball for my liking

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@14thefrog @AFCWimbledon @officialcufc Very keen to see more of this guy

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@KentWomble Agree. And ‘OK’ is way better than the average standard we have seen this season

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@Otto_English Shameful. Doesn’t condemn those who created the violence

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@14thefrog @AFCWimbledon @officialcufc Thought we looked much better with his pace, physicality and intent. Would like to see more of this guy

[AFC Wimbledon @AFCWimbledon]

#OnThisDay 21 years ago @TheDonsTrust was launched as our supporters took control of the Club they love.

6 promotions and 2 decades later we are now playing back home at Plough Lane as a Football League side once again.

FAN POWER ✊

#AFCW 🟡🔵

[Peter Allan @Allan18Peter]

@WomblesDream It does presumably mean Courtney Senior departs