Albert G

Info-tainment

[Albert G @Almwas]

Top tier.

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

NOT AGAIN!!! 😩

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA has refused to let Java House go.

You definitely know Java House.

Me, I first encountered it in 2015 while hunting for an attachment in the streets of Nairobi.

All along, I thought it was a biig college teaching Java coding. With branches in every corner.
Until my boss asked to meet me there.

I rushed thinking the legend had enrolled for classes.
Only for him to order coffee for me.

Since then, it has been my favourite coffee joint.

Buana ushamba iheshimiwe.

Now,

In 2012, the two founders of Java House had made their kill after running the company for 13 straight years since 1999.

It was time to go to the beach. They sold the company to ECP Africa in Mauritius.

There was no capital gains tax in Kenya then. So the boys left with their money KRA free.

Before ECP bought the company, they knew:
- Kenya changes laws very fast.
- If they bought shares directly in Kenya
- And later sold them
- They could face taxes if laws changed

So they got smart. They set up a shell company in Mauritius. Called it Java House Mauritius Limited. This company is the one that bought Java House Kenya.

So we now have:
- ECP Africa (Mauritius) owning
- Java House Mauritius
- Which owns Java House Kenya
Clean stuff.

Time came to cash out.

ECP Africa remembered it was also owned by ECP fund in Washington DC.

And ECP DC had a subsidiary management company in Kenya called ECP Kenya Limited.

They agreed and tasked ECP Kenya to:
- To study Java house and improve the business to make more valuable on behalf of ECP Africa.
- Decide when to sell it
- Find a buyer
- Negotiate the deal

In short, ECP Kenya was managing the entire investment.

As all this was happening, they are unaware of one dangerous sentence chilling quietly in Kenyan tax law.

It reads:
• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is a Kenyan resident company.

In 2017, ECP Africa sold Java house Mauritius company to a Dubai mogul for $100M.

- About 10B shillings.

Everything happened in Mauritius. No shares moved in Kenya to trigger anything.

• Deal is closed. 0 tax.

Bahati mbaya, KRA caught wind that Java is gone.

KRA immediately embarked on a fault finding mission.
And in 2022, found that:
- The entire transaction was managed from Kenya
- Through ECP Kenya

They invoked the one dangerous sentence. You remember it?

• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is Kenyan company.

KRA said:
• This deal is Kenyan
• Tax must be paid in Kenya

Tax demanded: 2.5B
ECP Kenya to pay it.

ECP Kenya ran to the tax appeal tribunal. Tribunal sided with KRA.

ECP Kenya ran to the High Court. They judge looked at the case and asked KRA why it behaved like a bitter ex.

KRA responded: My Lord, imagine educating your wife, then akigraduate she leaves you for a man of her class. How would you feel?

Judge akakubali inauma.

ECP wakaambiwa walipe tax.

Case closed.

Lesson.

• Structure your offshore deal properly.

• Or KRA will structure it for you.

[Rimsha Bhardwaj @heyrimsha]

Google saved every photo you ever took, even the ones you deleted.

Screenshots of your bank account. Passport photos. Tax documents. Photos you thought were gone forever.

Go to https://t.co/SJeQg939d4 right now.

You'll find "permanently deleted" files still sitting on their servers.

Here's how to find them and actually destroy them:

[Footy Humour @FootyHumour]

Dortmund scouts don’t miss… just casually finding world class players for fun 😭

[Moon Dragon @frozenaesthetic]

Left handed people existing breaks a rule in evolution that nobody can explain

Only about 10% of the population is left handed and that number has stayed the same for 10,000 years

It never goes up and never goes down

Evolution isn't meant to work like that, traits spread because they are useful or die off because they aren't

Left handedness doesn't do either and stays the same percentage across every culture, country and population

They process fear differently and react faster to danger than right handed people

They are different neurologically and slightly overrepresented in certain criminal populations and significantly overrepresented among US presidents

The trait seems to produce extremes

Ancient cultures were afraid of them, the word "sinister" originates from the Latin word "sinistra" which means "left" or "on the left side"

10%
There's always 10%

Never more

It was decided that was the exact number needed in the population

[Handre @Handre]

Americans fly to Turkey for $3,000 dental implants that cost $40,000 in Manhattan. They drive to Tijuana for $800 MRIs priced at $12,000 in San Diego (literally 15 minutes north). Medical tourism revenue hit $100 billion globally in 2023 while US healthcare spending broke $4.5 trillion.

The market speaks louder than any policy wonk ever could. When you can get the same cardiac surgery in Bangkok for $15,000 that costs $200,000 in Boston—using the same equipment, often better facilities, and surgeons trained at Johns Hopkins—the pricing isn't reflecting scarcity or quality. It's reflecting capture.

Insurance companies created this beautiful racket where they negotiate "discounts" off artificially inflated prices, hospitals play along because the government backstops the whole charade through Medicare reimbursements, and pharmaceutical companies... well, they just price whatever the market will bear (which turns out to be everything you own plus your firstborn).

Austrian school economists predicted this decades ago. When you remove price signals and direct payment, costs explode. When Americans rediscover actual market prices by flying to Mumbai for heart surgery, suddenly they remember what healthcare actually costs when providers compete for cash-paying customers instead of...

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA has released new filing guidelines for 2025 tax return.

It has opened 2025 tax filing with BIG changes.

You can now deduct all legit business expenses.

- Even those without eTIMS receipts.

But,

For non eTIMS expenses,

KRA wants proof that you actually incurred those expenses.

Before filing the income tax return:

- You must scan & upload all the non eTIMS receipts to iTax.

- Prepare an Excel schedule of those expenses and also upload it to Itax.

- Ensure you include the supplier’s KRA PIN

This is how KRA will verify and validate your deductions.

Only after that can you file.

- No records. No deduction.

Start preparing early.

Especially if your accounting period ends in December.

Because the deadline to clear the balance of tax for 2025 is 30th April.

[Jaynit @jaynitx]

In 2019, MIT professor Patrick Winston gave a legendary 1-hour lecture called “How to Speak.”

It has 18M+ views for a reason.

His frameworks:
• Your ideas are like your children
• The 5-minute rule for job talks
• Why jokes fail at the start

15 lessons on communication:

[Daily Nation @NationAfrica]

Upscale Elgon View estate in Eldoret floods after River Sosiani bursts its banks

[Karl Matt Button │ Apex Fitness Adv. @KarlApexFit]

7 fitness tests every man over 40 should be able to pass.

Most can't do more than 3.

Test yourself. Be honest.

= Thread =

[ًًًًًًًki_yz💕🎟️ @EricOkemwa_]

Kenya Meteorological Department @MeteoKenya has an app that uses near real-time satellite imagery to provide a picture of storm conditions in your area over the next two hours. It updates every fifteen minutes.
FASTA: Forecasting African STorms App.
https://t.co/1Y8XJPEmrJ

[Bandy @bandy1803]

British authorities noticed bandits raiding trade caravans heading north from India to China.

The brigands used a then-unknown pass called the Shimshal to make their escape.

The British feared the Russians could use it for an invasion. In 1889, they sent a man to investigate.

[Geography of Kenya @kenyangeography]

Most of the rain that falls in Kenya originates from the Indian ocean. Rain from the Congo basin system is prevented from crossing into Kenya by Mt. Rwenzori and Mt. Elgon. But in some rare instances, the rain makes its way to Kenya like the current off-season rains in February.

[Kenyan Facts 🇰🇪 @KResearcher]

If you visit the Turkwel Dam,please beg,crawl sing them KENGEN ninjas a song,do whatever so that they show you the tunnel leading down to the turbines. That is the coolest part of this power plant.

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

Apocalypto (2006) ends with Jaguar Paw surviving the hunt… only for Spanish ships to appear on the horizon. Not a victory, not relief…just history arriving. One of the coldest final images in modern cinema.

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

KCB Bank has partnered with Visa to launch a Business Credit Card for Kenyan SMEs with up to 45 days’ interest-free credit and expense management features.

[Sizwe SikaMusi @SizweLo]

I don’t have proof, but this is my theory and I’m sticking to it:

The Egyptians who are credited with building the pyramids, actually found them already there, built by the “gods”, which was actually a previous advanced civilisation.

They tried their best to imitate the style, which is why the oldest pyramids are the most sophisticated, and the newer additions are the ones that actually look primitive.

If you look at the Old Kingdom of Egypt, which are the earliest Dynasties, you have the Great Pyramids with mathematical masterpieces with 70 ton granite beams and laser-flat finishes of millimetre precision.

Then for some reason, as you move forward in time to the Middle and New Kingdoms, the pyramids start to get smaller, the stones get sloppier, and eventually, they just start building with mud bricks.

If those mfs “invented” the tech, they would have gotten better at it. Instead, they clearly lost the manual. They became squatters in structures they knew nothing about building.

There is a literal stone tablet called the Inventory Stele found at Giza and it explicitly states that Khufu, the Pharaoh supposedly responsible for the Great Pyramid found the Sphinx and the Temple of Isis already built.

Mainstream archaeology calls the stele a “pious forgery” created 2,000 years later by priests because if the stele is true, the entire timeline of Egyptology collapses. They would rather believe the Egyptians lied about their own history than admit the pyramids are older than 4500 years.

About the Sphinx, geologists like Robert Schoch have pointed out that the Sphinx and its enclosure walls show deep marks caused by thousands of years of heavy, cascading rainfall.

The problem is that Egypt hasn’t had that kind of rain for at least 12000 years. By the time of the Dynastic Egyptians 4500 years ago, the region was already a desert.

In other words, the Sphinx was already old and heavily eroded when the Pharaohs first saw it. They didn't build it, they wouldn't know how to, so they just re-carved the head to look like a Pharaoh, which is why the head is tiny and less weathered than the body.

Archaeologists claim the pyramids were burial tombs. They probably were, for the Dynastic Egyptians. The Egyptians were the world’s greatest restoration artists. They found these resonance chambers and, which were actually power plants, cleaned them out, and used them for their own religious purposes.

The granite in the King’s Chamber inside the Great Pyramid of Giza isn’t even from the same geological formation as the limestone of the structure. Why import 70-ton blocks from 500 miles away unless those specific material properties mattered for a non-decorative function?

Anyway, the hypothesis I subscribe to argues that thousands of years ago, there were catastrophic global floods, which is why many cultures have their own version of the “Flood of Noah” fable.

Most coastal civilisations were submerged after this cataclysmic event.

This explains why archaeologists find silt and sea shells at the base of the pyramids. They were submerged during this Great Reset.

The survivors were pushed back into a Stone Age survival mode. By the time they rebuilt enough to return to Giza, they had lost the high-frequency technology, but they still remembered the “gods” who built the original structures.

Imagine a global catastrophe today. In 2000 years, a new tribe finds the ruins of the Three Gorges Dam. They can’t make electricity with it, so they use the dam as a massive fortress and bury their chiefs in the turbine rooms because they feel holy.

Future archaeologists would find the bodies, see the tribe’s pottery, and conclude that the Three Gorges Dam was a primitive tomb built by people who worshipped the Water God. That is exactly what Egyptologists are doing with the pyramids.

Again, I don’t have proof, but nor do the anthropologists

[Charlton Athletic FC @CAFCofficial]

He's here 👀

#cafc

[miri @eggoslug]

I am not going to be a cocomelon parent. You will sit your ass down and watch aljazeera

[Drugs Bunny @Monty_Hasashi]

Unafungua Citizen or any station and there's literally nothing of substance. No documentaries, no trivias, no movies, no international news and major events happening around the world. None of that. They're busy airing Ruto and Gachagua's supposed "beef"🫩