Alt-Ac In A Box™

Alt-Ac In A Box™ packs and ships PhDs, ABDs, Post-Docs, and all other Graduate Students to exciting jobs outside the academy. Satire is free. Boxes cost money.

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Concerned about USPS delays, don't worry! The time you'll spend in your box sitting in a mail sorting facility will at least be indoors or at the very least a truck. That's better than the apartment you were evicted from because your school decided to not rehire you.

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Online teaching got you down? Pack yourself into an exciting new life outside the academy--in a box. We source our boxes from the recycling bins of University towns across the country. Contact us now to take advantage of our Natty Ice & Greasy Pizza Box Combo Special!!!!

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Who needs to save daylight? Not adjuncts. They never sleep in the first place.

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

So you've finally achieved a breakthrough and your findings could change the world, but your dept chair published the findings under their name. Worry not. Buy one box and get a second on us. You can go anywhere you want. Your dept chair will never be found. #phdadvice

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Committee chairs, are you afraid of "the conversation" with a pesky PhD student? Save your words and give them the tried and true solution to the academic jobs crisis--a box!

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

This box could be yours. And you could go anywhere in the world in this box. #academicjobs

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Betsy DeVos doesn't forgive, and neither does a cardboard box. But cardboard will cuddle with you on a rainy, cold night. #studentloans #HigherEducation

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

So you've finally achieved a breakthrough and your findings could change the world, but your dept chair published the findings under their name. Worry not. Buy one box and get a second on us. You can go anywhere you want. Your dept chair will never be found. #phdadvice

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Tonight only!!!! Democratic debate special!!!! Choose us for your alt-ac career needs and along with your box we'll include a cardboard cutout of your preferred candidate. Talk to the cut out about debt, healthcare, or whatever from the comfort of your own box. #Academia

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

We grabbed this box from the recycling bin behind the dining hall. It's looking for the right disenfranchised graduate student. This box enjoys long walks, British TV shows, cooking, and is looking for a committed life partner. #phdadvice

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

This week only--take advantage of our MFA special. Don't settle for teaching composition classes at 6 different community colleges. See the world and put your skills at writing verse in quadratic hexameter to good use. Choose a box that fits your unique style. #AcademicChatter

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Betsy DeVos doesn't forgive, and neither does a cardboard box. But cardboard will cuddle with you on a rainy, cold night. #studentloans #HigherEducation

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Do you have an advanced degree in the "humanities?" Have you been told about the exciting labor possibilities in public humanities and curation projects? Act now. Turn yourself into a public curation by living in a cardboard box--anywhere. International shipping rates apply.

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

So you've been teaching 7 classes for the past two weeks and have slept about 36 hours in the same time. Fuck it! Have a box--gratis. We'll then ship you to a job at Arby's where you'll get treated better by your acne ridden 23 year old manger than your current department chair.

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Can't afford a new box? We got you. Act now and get a half empty Expo marker to write your name and blood type on your box as you inhale the sweet fumes and contemplate the article on Walter Benjamin that you never finished. #phdchat

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

We're rolling out our Labor Day and Back to School specials just in time before a serious recession hits. For a limited time only, collect ten greasy, empty pizza boxes and we'll attach them together with twine and duct tape to make you the perfect box. #AcademicTwitter #phdlife

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

@ethicistforhire @mitpress We could not agree more, even if we don't believe in anything. #boxlife

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

Our Ivy League boxing special comes with your choice of a gold or silver spray paint can. Give your box the gilded look you deserve. We are not responsible for any loss of brain cells, breathing difficulties, or addiction.

[The Chronicle of Higher Education @chronicle]

In the past decade, the number of jobs in English advertised by the Modern Language Association has dropped by more than half. Of the jobs that are left, a shrinking percentage exist on the tenure-track. https://t.co/OeVrTdxT6G

[Alt-Ac In A Box™ @AltAcInABox]

The word around the non functioning microwave that is in the storage closet that doubles as the adjunct office is that affordable cardboard boxes are a way to a better life. #AcademicChatter