Amanda Delbeke

I probably eat more mac & cheese than you

[WheatNOil @WheatNOil]

The mRNA vaccines (Pfizer and Moderna) are kind of brilliant at a science level. I’ve had a few people in my real non-Twitter life ask me to explain how it works so I’m going to try my best here in this thread while I’m waiting for a patient to show.

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

hate that my mask covers my nose ring, now how will people know i have a personality?

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Coronavirus update: the person from your high school who constantly tries to get you to join their pyramid scheme doesn’t think it’s a big deal

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

@jaronmyers ok but he’s not wrong ???

[tyde @cinematyde]

This incredible scene from One Tree Hill has always baffled me and will continue to baffle me for the rest of my life

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

Unpopular opinion: Selena Gomez is capable of singing like 4 notes REAL well and has scraped by as an artist.

[ADHDean @ADHDeanASL]

whenever I feel worthless, I just remember that no matter where I am or what time it is, I probably have about $18 worth of Italian food in me

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

@AaronChewning but wait this actually slaps ???

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

I refuse to ever break up with someone again unless I can pay Mark McGrath to do it for me ☠️☠️☠️

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

The older I get, the less I trust women who wear eyeliner corner to corner on both top and bottom.

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

Today I was stressed about wearing jeans with a dressy outfit to present to a board I’ve never met. Then the CEO walked around the office for 2 hours in socks, and that’s how I know I work for the right company.

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

I’m just trying to figure out when every single female I follow on social media all of a sudden got a big butt and can pull off high waisted pants? Did I miss a meeting? I wasn’t told far enough in advance to make this a reality

[david @_elvishpresley_]

1 year later and Mr Bubz is still the greatest video to ever hit the internet

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

Hey sorry can’t make it to your party tonight. I opened one of those peanut butter jars where the oil is separate and my whole life is kind of a mess right now

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

my mom leaving dinner tonight: “every single guy my age in that restaurant was wearing cargo shorts and that’s how I know I’ll never get married again.”

[Amanda Delbeke @AmandaDelbeke]

part of me wants to live out of a backpack abroad and part of me wants to go to law school and that’s how I know I’m too noncommittal to order this amazon movie purchase right now OKAY KATHY

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

i like who podcast ads think i am – a successful businessman who hires employees but also i don’t own underwear or a mattress