[My date and I both speak at the same time]
Me: Haha sorry! You go first
Date: I was just gonna say I love this wine, and the food is delicious. What were you gonna say?
Me: Should male sheep be called heep?
My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
We are happy our partners, @XcelEnergyMN, are committed to providing education opportunities at @ComoZoo. Thank you for providing the funding to invest in environmental education programs designed to serve our diverse visitors and field trip groups!
Saleswoman: "You should try these treats. They're good for your dogs teeth and diet."
Me: "No, thank you. My dog has plenty of treats."
*25 minutes later*
Saleswoman: "Oh, I thought you didn't need any more treats..."
Me: "Well, I'm obviously a liar, so..."
@PetSmart