Barkeep at the tavern in the far away village to which I have traveled: Hero, our town has been plagued by a Goblin Prince whose underlings have been terrorizing our villagers. His den lies eastward, beyond the wheat fields.
Me: ok do you have voodoo ranger
What I find truly poetic about hippos being one of the deadliest animals on Earth is that they’re herbivores. Completely plant-based. They have no interest in eating you, they just genuinely seem to hate you on a personal level, and I respect that.
Of course, he who has a peanut allergy garners my sympathy. But he will never garner my respect. You were not meant for this earth and you are on borrowed time
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