A Pimp Named Slickwater

energy, engineering, TX, #EFT

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@FauxRight @FracSlap This is the shitposter formerly known as HammeredInTheHaynesville

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@SatsAndSizzle N+1 flowback invoices

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

Question for #EFT ops and accounting folks:

At what point in a well’s life do you feel comfortable assessing its capex as ‘final’, say within 2% of what accounting actuals would show a year+ post TIL?

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@OilCoIntern @P55620662 TFW you have to use your 3500 dually to tow your massive gooseneck to move into a sad apartment for divorced dads. But the trailer is empty because you lost the boat, SxS, and all your other possessions in the divorce

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@midlandlandman @OilCoIntern @rick_bergman_ Yeaaaaaah gonna need some more context there bud.

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@hateag Not exactly a book but I always give new O&G folks an old circa 2015 copy of Deutsche bank’s O&G sector primer for incoming analysts. A bit stale but still a good starting point for industry newcomers

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@TFG870 @FBIDirectorKash

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@wtxoil If you move south of B the only thing getting shot is hogs and deer 🤷

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@wolfofwalkerst @clintbarnette Tbh insurance complex does have pretty much unlimited demand for esoteric IG ABS of any kind rn. PDP ABS has always been an issuer/asset constrained market.

Just think, as bad as DEC ABS paper sounds would you rather hold consumer lending ABS?

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@GreyHairOpsGuy Farcical

[Javier Blas @JavierBlas]

If would be really fitting of 2026 if Tehran ends labelling a toll on the Strait of Hormuz as an “environmental fee.” But, just for fun, Iran should take the plunge and call it a “carbon tax.”

[Arjun Narayan @narayanarjun]

SpaceX drops the hypiest IPO filing and says "we believe we have identified the largest TAM in human history", and you're like, my interplanetary east India company, what delectable spice have you decided to ship across the stars, and it's like... 22 trillion dollars of b2b saas

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

My wife mentioned a nice private school over dinner this week
She said the campus was beautiful
I asked what's the tuition
She said we should look at it as an investment in him not a cost
I made a note
She said don't make a note
I said I always make notes
She said this isn't a deal
I said everything is a deal
She closed her eyes

She said we'd discuss it Saturday
I agreed

Saturday 7:02am
She came downstairs in her Saturday robe
Coffee in hand
I had my cargo shorts on

The dining room had been cleared
The projector was on
The analyst was at the head of the table
Quarter zip on, three iced coffees, a legal pad, and two laptops
He had been there since 6:44am

I texted him at 11:14pm Friday
The text said dining room 6:45am bring the model
He sent a thumbs up

My wife stopped in the doorway
She said what is this
I said you said you wanted to discuss it
She said this is not a discussion
I did not respond
She sat down anyway

The analyst stood
He said good morning ma'am
She did not respond
He sat back down
A printed deck in front of each seat
A fourth copy in case

Slide 1 Tuition Schedule
$38,500 per year
Thirteen years
$500,500 nominal
Before escalators
The school has raised tuition 4.2% per year for a decade
With escalators $648,000
My wife said okay
I said I'm not done

Slide 2 Opportunity Cost
Even before escalators
$38,500 invested annually
10% nominal return
S&P long-run average since 1928
By his eighteenth birthday $944,000
My wife said we can afford it
I said I know that's not the slide

Slide 3 Terminal Value at Age 65
$83 million
She was quiet

The analyst slid the sensitivity tables across the table
8% return $31 million
10% return $83 million
12% return $222 million
She did not look

She said this isn't about money
I said it's always about money
She said no it isn't
I said then what is it about
She did not answer

She said you can't put a dollar value on his teachers his classmates his environment
I said I can the analyst already did slide 6
He flipped to slide 6
She did not look

She said the school is the best in the city
I said best is a feeling
She said it produces the best students
I said the students were already the best before they got there

She said our son deserves it
I said our son deserves $83 million

My son walked in
He is five
Dinosaur pajamas
He looked at the projector
He looked at the open deck on the table
He looked at slide 3
He said are we modeling pre-tax or after-tax
The analyst opened a new tab
My wife looked at the ceiling

He said what's the discount rate
The analyst set down his pen
She closed her eyes

He said is this the same return assumption from the 529 conversation
The analyst stopped typing
He looked at me
I did not say anything

She stood up
Sat back down

He said dad can I help
I said yes
He pulled up a chair
The analyst handed him a printout
He started reading

My wife watched him read
She watched him for a long time

She said his name
He looked up
She said do you like school
He said the work is too easy and the kids don't ask questions

She did not respond
She looked at the ceiling
She walked out of the room

The analyst started packing up
He said should I follow up Monday sir
I said no follow up needed

He'll be fine

Sent from my iPhone

[Delaware Sandman @DelawareSandman]

Silly name for a business registered in Nevada, using an address in Wyoming, and ran by a guy in New York

[Barrel Man @hawtdeals1]

On one hand, credit to Clay Gaspar for having the balls to yolo this auction ~2 weeks after the merger closed

On the other, $DVN has spent ~$3 Bn on Government Auctions in New Mexico going back to August when they recovered their EnergyNet password and started bidding on these. That’s ~70% of the parcels in and around the highest quality Lea County acres sold today across 30-40 individual auctions in 9 months.

At that remarkable success rate, what’s the edge $DVN has that’s driving that consistently winning bid against the entire market of Delaware buyers? Devon has neither the best well results offset or lowest cost (surrounded by blue chip operators that also have EnergyNet accounts).

They just signed up for a ~$285k/ac basis on ~9,100 acres in the thick of 1) Potash mine development complexity, 2) offsetting Fed Units with the big boys limiting lateral extension and 3) massive competition to pool badass rock that is finally not unleased Fed. Oh, sorry, and we’re in New Mexico - the state where prairie chickens and lizards have equal rights to operators.

Very curious to see any IR spin they try to put on this one (if they even have to - may just roll it up as $2.6 Bn of “Ground Game”). But needless to say, answer feels like desperation, stupidity or some combination of both.

[Zay Capital @cap_zay]

Me when my boss asks me about a project I just started working on 10mins ago

[Clint Barnette @clintbarnette]

Exclusive look at teams finalizing their underwriting tonight and preparing for tomorrow:

[DonJrsNorthernWhite100Mesh🛢️🎤🦐 @jrs_mesh]

He's walking into Home Depot. Drop employee head count by 90% and substantially lower their IQ

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@jrs_mesh Literally halfway through that drive right now haha

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@Mike_TH1984 @NewsFinOil @SMB_path That’s absolutely diabolical. I love it.

[A Pimp Named Slickwater @AndUpstream]

@DataTracker87 @CallsPuts1 Uhh I think the Moncriefs are good for the extra capex lol. ESP with insurance paying for most of it