Joseph

[Jake Weston @JakeRWeston]

There's something of a medieval coronation about this. The king who held the south has lost the support of his courtiers and the usurper will ride into London heralded as a saviour by the city.

I suggest northern France for Keir Starmer to recruit mercenaries and prime his heir who's sure to return with Macron's backing.

[tombricks 🇵🇸 @tombruhcks]

He's going to appoint him as Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds.

[Tim Stanley @timothy_stanley]

The age limit should rise every year so that by 2092, no one in Britain is online.

[Mark Mason @WalkTheLinesLDN]

Excellent work from @TimesDiary

[Noah Keate @NoahKeate]

Radio 4's election programme taking a 12 minute break at 12.48am for the Shipping Forecast is one of the many reasons why it's the jewel in the BBC's crown.

[James Heale @JAHeale]

That’s it: parliament is prorogued and the hereditary peers are no more

[paul bassett davies @thewritertype]

Ironically, most penguins don't know that today is World Penguin Day and think it's just a regular Saturday. The reason, of course, is that they refused to adopt the new Gregorian calendar in 1582, and still adhere to the old Julian one, for tax purposes.

[Tony Dowson @TonyDowson5]

"not fit for purpose as a second chamber."

What's the purpose supposed to be? Wave through crap legislation?

[London New Liberals @LondonNewLibs]

"Give up Hanover? You must be mad! It's been ours for 123 years!"

“Well you see, Minister, we’ve received an advisory opinion on Salic Law, and believe a binding judgment is imminent in favour of the German Confederation.”

[Fergus Butler-Gallie @_F_B_G_]

Sensational that the last vestiges of duty to the British Empire means going out into your garden to check whether a large, geriatric reptile is dead or not,

[Calgie @christiancalgie]

Spotted on a water fountain in Cheltenham-

“The public are expected to protect from injury that which is erected for the public good”

[Nathen Amin ✒️📚 @NathenAmin]

England in 1603.

[Tim (still totally unremarkable) @forwardnotback]

Letter in today’s Times 😂😂😂

[Tony Kent @TonyKent_Writes]

The front of the talentless minnow who followed this, to criticise the speech before embarking on her own where she stumbled through reading a single page of utter mediocrity, tells us everything we need to know about the intellect and the attitude of today’s political class.

[PiQ @PiQMarkets]

Both barrels.

[Workhouse Overseer 🌐🥑🍌 @RepealTCPA1947]

British decline: slowly, then all at once

[British Royalist Society @theroyalistsuk]

The Government would do well to recall that The King himself sits in Parliament by the hereditary principle they now seek to disparage. These are the arguments of those who hold our history and heritage in contempt.

[Jim @jimloveswhisky]

This is the real scandal. 1 ship could be ordered per year, nothing extravagant. It keeps your shipyard busy, local suppliers busy, long term skilled jobs, all of which means more tax revenue, and you get a rolling program of replacement.

[Dave † 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇺🇸🇮🇪🎸🎶 @daveguitarjones]

Both Cream and The Jam were going to reunite for gigs in Devon and Cornwall this year, but the venues couldn't agree about who should go on first.