Anthony LeDonne

Comedian

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

I have the anxiety of a millennial and the indifference of a Gen Xer, so whenever I’m on a plane I think it’s going to crash, but also don’t care if it does.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

A new spin on an old management philosophy: happy cows produce better milk. https://t.co/wEskzBpSYp

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Inflation’s so bad, opening a joint checking account is the new third base.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

For our first How To Write A Novel With Your Spouse and Not Get Divorced question, Wiff and I are starting with a heavy hitter… Have a question about writing a novel or a screenplay? Or publishing in general? Hit me up in the DMs.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

If I ever get into transcendental meditation, my mantra will be “it’s probably nothing.”

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Most of adulting is just trying to convince yourself it’s not cancer.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Some of the things Trump says make me think he belongs in an old folks’ home. Some of the things Biden says make me think he wandered away from one.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Uber needs a filter on the app for drivers who’ve lost the ankle control to maintain a constant speed. Call it Roller Coaster Mode.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

@sincap2 Ha. Thank you!

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

I just found out I share a birthday with Jared Fogle. How’s your day going?

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

@paullyrocks Hey! Thanks man! Great to hear from you!

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Happy belated anniversary to my wife!
https://t.co/wu1DqRa5Qt

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

This is true. My dog’s been high more time than I have.

https://t.co/rQrMSjZLU9

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Why do companies still ask for a voided check to setup payment? Do they know it's not the 1800s?

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Whenever I don’t like Alexa’s answer I turn into a bad foster parent. “If you screw up one more time I’m sending you back. Where’s the box you came in?”

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

NYC just voted to ban natural gas hookups in new buildings. Which is what happens when the people making laws use their ovens as storage.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

I can’t stand when people overuse prefixes like “un” and “non.” Is so uncreative.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

This I learned that if I eat right and train hard I can gain 20 pounds of ego.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

If you can spell correctly “diarrhea” on the first try, I feel bad for your colon.

[Anthony LeDonne @AnthonyLeDonne]

Just remembered our fifteenth is in two weeks. What do I buy? Is 15 the diamond one? The paper? Sage?!
https://t.co/jxHu0x2nWF