Tortured Actuaries Department

Puts a little skip in your step
| Games, queer stuff, the Bible
| She/Her/Fastest Mario
| Masto: @[email protected]
| Bsky: @[email protected]

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

Elon deserves to be in prison for life

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

When I teach Mahjong I like to say "it's in the family of games like Rummy, Canasta, or Phase 10." I've found when I say "Phase 10" there is someone who is learning that immediately becomes an order of magnitude less intimidated.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

Hair inflation is wild, what do you mean I bought a towel from Sephora?

[𝔰𝔠𝔶𝔩𝔩𝔞🩷🖤 @mordorxvx]

being transgender is a slippery slope towards buying $25 conditioner

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

@Darren_Mooney What is art but Marvel persevering?

[Darren Mooney @Darren_Mooney]

The thing about “WandaVision” is that it is textually and visually about the idea that it is the destiny of all art, no matter the medium, to evolve into the colour-coded blast battle in the third act of a superhero film.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

Novelization of the I, Robot movie sequel

["Guru Larry" Bundy Jr @LarryBundyJr]

One of life's eternal questions...

[Supper Mario Broth @MarioBrothBlog]

In Mario Party, minigame descriptions treat being eliminated merely as being out of the game, except for Bumper Balls, which shifts the tone by stating the winner is the last one left alive. This implies that while other minigames might be for fun, Bumper Balls is to the death.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

@Ranting_Trans That's why nobody questioned when said "I am the door". It made sense if you were looking at him.

[Jasmine('s boobs hurt) @Ranting_Trans]

Rennaissance painters really ruined his modern public perception, but fun fact, this is what Jesus actually looked like

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

The message of Persona 4 is "some people are queer, but you are not"

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

@Viveegon "ghost of a transgender girl helps a man learn the true name of the demon who stole his face so his friends can reunite with his real self" sounds like an award-winning queer horror short film, not Chapter 4 of Paper Mario.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

@wmata LGBT means Let's Go By Train

[Ghost Maggie Serota @maggieserota]

My sick action hero line before I kill a bad guy:

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

This will be the year we finally put an end to etc

[m 🍻 @lapurrak_]

Happy Pride!

[tati 🌹 @eidoIons]

Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII donates 100 billion gil to the LGBTQ+ community for Pride Month.

"For all my fans." she states.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

Woke 1.5 was too complicated, but Woke 2.0 streamlined things too much and isn't fun anymore.
I'm starting a new system called Wokefinder that's kind like making Woke 1.75 and we're just gonna keep balancing that one.

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

Mahjong house rule during Pride: if you pull a flower then someone else pulls the season of the same number, you have to kiss

[Evil Man @evilhooperninja]

🚨 BREAKING — SENATE CANDIDATE GRAHAM PLATNER ALLEGEDLY “DRESSED UP IN SCARY CLOWN COSTUME AND CHASED PEOPLE AROUND” DURING SUMMER OF 2016 WHEN THAT WAS HAPPENING

[Tortured Actuaries Department @SkipSandwich]

Top 10 homestarrunner joke is still Strong Bad starting that essay with "Since maybe, like, the middle ages..."

[Lorenzo Elijah, PhD @LorenzoElijah]

I’ve read many undergrad essays over the years.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that mankind has pondered an awful lot of stuff since the dawn of time.