Apocrypha

Yeah, well, y'know, that's just like uh your opinion, man

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@matt_olma If you can’t see the humor inherent in this clusterfuck of a cosmos, idk what to tell you. If we saw the world for what it truly is, we would be laughing hysterically all the time.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@touchgrass_ron It doesn’t have to be like that. There is essentially an invisible bar for literacy, and once you pass it, you’re in. Sure, you may not be able to competently discuss Hegel with a PhD, but who cares? You enjoyed Moby Dick and The Sound and the Fury and maybe Ulysses. Good enuf.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@TPmarketwatch @BozoProzo ^ guy skipped Kant in class

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@pourfairelevide @norabird Their support is the opposite of a team like the Yankees. As long as you’re not a fan of their opponent, you cheer for the Spurs every time. The nuns’ aura is also Immaculate (pun intended).

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@japan_nobunaga Noble Nobunaga-san, your true enlightenment will come when you understand that *everything* in America is exactly like this. We are a nation of simulacra. There is no Democracy in “democracy,” no Education in “education,” no Culture in “culture.” It is “spice” all the way down.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@japan_nobunaga Noble Nobunaga-san, your true enlightenment will come when you understand that *everything* in America is exactly like this. We are a nation of simulacra. There is no Democracy in “democracy,” no Education in “education,” no Culture in “culture.” It is “spice” all the way down.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

This guy, whoever he is, is so good at this Tocquevillean “foreigner doing ethnography of Americans” thing, I’m obsessed.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A backyard. One man guarding a grill for four hours.

He never left it once.

Everyone else drifted and drank and laughed. But one man stood alone before the flames, turning meat with a long fork, immovable. I knew him at once. The keeper of the sacred fire.

I took my place beside him and said nothing. After a while, he spoke.

"Low and slow," he said, eyes on the coals. "You can't rush it. Rush it, you ruin it."

I bowed my head. A blade, a tea, a life. None can be rushed. I had crossed four thousand miles to hear my grandfather's words from a man in a "KISS THE COOK" apron.

"Everything worth doing is slow," I agreed.

He glanced at me. Something passed between us.

"My wife says just use the oven." He shook his head at the fire. "She doesn't get it."

"They never do," I said.

And this is where it turned.

For the first time in years, this man had been understood. And he rose to meet it. His back straightened. His voice dropped low. A teenager reached for the grill and the man lifted one hand without even looking. "Not yet." The boy retreated. He was becoming what I already believed him to be.

A woman asked when the food would be done. "It's ready when it's ready," he told the flames.

Three people approached. Three were turned away with a single word. By the fourth hour, no one questioned him. The whole party had arranged itself around the man and his fire, the way a village arranges itself around a shrine.

Then he handed me the fork.

"Watch it a sec. I gotta pee."

I have been trusted with castles.

I have never been more honored.

He served everyone before himself, and ate last, standing, still watching the coals. We never traded names. We did not need to.

He believed he had finally met a man who took his cooking seriously.

I believed I had finally met America's last samurai.

Neither of us will ever correct the other.

So tell me, America.

Who is the man at your gathering who will not leave the grill?

Have you ever once asked him why?

I think he is still standing there.

Guarding the fire.

Waiting for one person to understand.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@PhilipDBunn It has legitimately crazy range. The Jeff Bezos one vs. All Eyes On Me being on one “album” would be career-making for a traditional musician, yet he also shot the whole thing.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@bf_crane He 100% should’ve ended on the hawk, would’ve blown the roof off.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@NorthSideCapper @barstoolsports You are so spiritually impoverished that you can’t even comprehend what’s wrong with what you said lol

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@PageLyndon lol no, if anything the opposite is happening. We’re going to re-enchant the world, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

What’s Ted Chiang up to these days? Feels like it’s been a while. He’s one of a handful for whom I would smash the preorder button within seconds if he announced a new story collection.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@No5mallf3at @cryingischic He was the correct kind of Christian

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@BarrieDarke @zerodarkthotty @willmenaker Him fucking the watermelon is the best character introduction I’ve ever seen

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@willmenaker Suttree: most underrated McCarthy novel by a mile and my personal favorite

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@user33906969 That’s fine, but there’s more than one way to be a creative person.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@rosaaareads Dostoevsky is literally the opposite of a nihilist.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@1rosieleft @TheLincoln Well yeah, I have a family so that’s certainly a factor. But even for smaller orders, curbside is far superior during peak hours like evenings and weekends. You park, text the number, wait about 5 minutes, they load everything into your trunk, you leave.

[Apocrypha @Apocryphal_Book]

@No5mallf3at Appropriate amount of whimsy remains undefeated, as has always been the case.