Fire Lord 🔥

Big fan of Angry Birds and Over the Hedge.
D.A.R.E. (she/her)

[Fire Lord 🔥 @ApollosGodlyAss]

Check the header for updated egg counts. I am currently on track to scramble, to poach, to hard boil this goal, hoes.

[Fire Lord 🔥 @ApollosGodlyAss]

This was such an unfortunate economic time to make a goal to eat 100 eggs by the end of the year. I am entirely serious. 😭

[liz @normalfunnygirl]

Boobs on the Ground Journalism

[👩‍💻 @weirdassfishes]

Pharrell has always kind of reminded me of Arthur’s homosexual rat teacher

[Fire Lord 🔥 @ApollosGodlyAss]

Looking at certain people's Spotify Wrapped and just KNOWING they let the n-word fly at home on a daily basis

[Fire Lord 🔥 @ApollosGodlyAss]

"Drug addicts are using tax dollars to buy junk food" don't talk about my friends like that

[teoni @teoniw]

Put that titty in his mouth so he could taste a #GoatsMilk

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

me: he's a glove that sells hamburger helper
girl looking at the posters in my room: no i get it

[nile @nileandah]

this is my version of an egot

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

ban it from showing the people i went to high school with what they’d look like as a cartoon character too while you’re at it

[REE$E ⋆｡𖦹°‧★ @reesebepuffing]

a beautiful chinese woman named Deer Xing is communicating with me through road signs

[jo @notafan_jo]

olympic villages lowk need reality tv style confessionals

[doomer @uncledoomer]

football pregame commentary is always like "yeah if this team wants to win, theyre gonna have to score some points"

[santos-inistas @JDabknee]

No one is cіrcumcіsed on stolen forеskіn

[A @seattleiminyou]

Hate when I go to someone else’s house and there’s not a cat there. Why do you even have a house

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Thinking about burgers

[uncle k8lyn ??? @katttesquad]

why is she wearing the drake and josh movie theater uniform

[Bonnie @33onnie]

mom… dad… I’d like to introduce you to the guy who sends me reels

[sophia @pastoralcomical]

pry january … i’m getting nosy

[chance @chanceposts]

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using chatgpt for anything

[Fire Lord 🔥 @ApollosGodlyAss]

Having trouble telling if the guy making my sandwich at Subway is cute or if I'm just REALLY hungry