Good Tone

[ghostly gwen howerton @kissphoria]

bad roommates who use "i'm letting the dishes soak" as a way to avoid doing the dishes are giving those of us who to really like to let a dish soak for a few hours to loosen up hard stuff stuck to a pan a bad name

[Good Tone @ApplesauceMagic]

@skee_bot @CalIsAlive @schizothotep I'm either Dev Wounding or not wound at all

5 ups are for my Invuln

[Good Tone @ApplesauceMagic]

@gingerandspicee I would rather not see that tbh

[AMOR VENCE ODIO @LaPanteraAugust]

Y este bongaso va dedicado a Robb Stark, el joven lobo, nunca derrotado

[Good Tone @ApplesauceMagic]

@spellyp My main Commander pod has consistent drafts and I can't politic my way out of 1v1. Always fun!

[Mike @hammerito]

About to sail out with a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more than my ship weighs empty, hope it goes okay

[in/carvery/out @volvicstorm98]

Can you imagine lookin so mental that the government posted a pic of you and instead of unthinkingly chattin shit, everyone on the Unthinkingly Chattin Shit App started sayin "I'm sorry did something genuinely traumatic happen to this person. I don't feel comfortable commenting"

[josephina @drowchaser]

theon going from wanting to sleep w a girl to being anxious for her approval in less than an hour & then finding out she’s his sister bc he keeps forgetting he’s on “play in your face” island and needs to treat everyone like they’re wearing a wire. son you are not built for this

[Squeakeasy @MagnetCancel]

WISCONSIN, YOU LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU'RE NEAR A KWIK TRIP RIGHT NOW, GO IN THERE RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON. THEIR MONEY IS YOUR MONEY AS OF RIGHT NOW

[Klonopin Centaur @facetedcarapace]

Wife: I feel like you aren't taking on a fair share of the household responsibilities. I feel overwhelmed by the mental load of managing it all.

Husband: *words escaping his mouth before he even realizes what he's saying* I'll show you an absolutely mental load

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

my uncle and I killed the tickle monster on a camping trip in ‘07. Shot him right between the eyes, sumbitch is mounted on the mantle over the fire. Can still see the fear in his eyes and everything. Taxidermist went mad after making it, said he’d never touch hide nor hair again.

[Dirt Mcgerk @fentanylbuyer]

Had a violent shit at planet fitness and the lunk alarm went off

[nightmare on elm street hater @street_Hater]

A beautiful woman seated behind me on the bus looks over my shoulder and playfully asks “What’s on your phone?” just as I enter “PENIS” as my first Wordle guess and get all gray letters

[Jeremy Herbert @DDayFilms]

[George Lucas, driving away from Taco Bell] Beenba Rito

[Good Tone @ApplesauceMagic]

@FoundGore50172 I just played with these guys! Love drowning the board in bodies

[Watermelon_Sir @Watermelon1Sir]

They taste good to those pure of heart. But as soon as you eat too many they detect your greed and start tasting awful as a self-defense mechanism.