Happy

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Oh look another naked post from the kinda ugly girl woo hoo

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

My pre work out is smoking weed on the couch and binging the office till I forget to leave the house so I jerk off and take a nap

[Oriana @oria2326]

Anyone else ever put a new air freshener in the car and arrive at work as high as a kite?

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Lose a fight to a chicken and you're the delicious nugget

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Better men than I have done shittier things

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

@JellyKidlives This is the classic mistake of having morals and not cuckolding her husband

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Criminal by Fiona Apple came on the radio and rocketed me back to Liz Spivey rejecting me in 7th grade

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

@EisHockeyGreg__ You better not be smoking

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Every time I star a sad tweet I feel like I'm saying "hey, I like your depression."

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

I'm banging more black chicks in 2018

[🚽plumber🚰 @plombotomy]

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

[ωαικεr @i_love_fudge]

I shall be a cheese until I decide on which photo to use as an avi.

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Moments for halitosis, but less mints for haley toed sis

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@AskinWayne I gotchu bro

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@AskinWayne Dude, you don't have to say hi, I always got weed for us

[Timm Miller @pdubtimm]

I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

Ladies, say hi to the guy buying lotion at cvs, I have weed on me

[Happy @ApplesauceWatch]

I thought I was depressed, turns out I just wasn't actively seeking enough new pussy