April Kotsch

''I got back pain'' -Tyler the Creator

[April Kotsch @AprilMayJune0]

Kinda miss the snapchat hotdog

[JP 𖣂⍣ @Awakenjp]

at this point fuck it let’s just do jurassic park. who cares

[Rory McCarthy @roryisconfused]

One time I got mugged at knifepoint by two guys and I found myself saying, first and foremost, in reaction to seeing the knife, for reasons that are absolutely beyond me, “now hold on a minute there compadre.”

[chase @_chase_____]

has anyone considered why everything that is locked up at target is locked from the OUTSIDE ??? maybe it’s not to keep people OUT but to keep old spice swagger deodorant IN

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

this is the plot of dune

[june 🔟 @AWAK3UNAFRA1D]

tw/ mice, cookies
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this mf is asking for milk now

[TortillaDelta13 @TortillaDelta13]

Is this how the Minecraft movie trailer should've looked?

[Wernher von Braun @DrVonBraun]

Humanity has about six months to purchase 8 billion ape costumes for the ultimate prank.

[Nicole Auerbach @NicoleAuerbach]

Nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how "busy you were"
- how many hours you worked

People will remember:
- the death of a pop-tart on national television

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how “busy you were”
- how many hours you worked

people will remember:
- WHOPPER WHOPPER
- WHOPPER WHOPPER
- JUNIOR DOUBLE
- TRIPLE WHOPPER

[matt ufford @mattufford]

astonishing that every day people wake up and decide to have a go in the menswear guy replies. “I’m gonna put this guy in his place.” no you’re not. you’re a henchman breaking into John Wick’s home. you’ve made bad life choices

[gal kilmer @beepupkin]

movies are always better in the cinema

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

I know a box of Cheez Its hate to see me coming

[Joe Palana @JoePalana]

I wanna be a “Guinness tastes better in Ireland” guy but for Dunkin’ Donuts in Massachusetts

[ClassicComics @ClassicComics3]

Devil Went Down to Georgia is fascinating to me because it’s so American. In any other culture it would be a cautionary tale of hubris and fooling with the demonic. But in America, Johnny actually is just better than the Devil. It’s so American