DEAR KENYAN MALE GOLFER,
I need to address you directly today.
Not your wife.
You.
Sit down. Put the club down. Stop adjusting your golf glove while reading this.
I have been studying you.
And I have reached some conclusions that the scientific community will eventually fund but I will share for free today.
Before golf found you, you were lost.
Not geographically.
Existentially.
You were a man whose balls had retired early.
Whose handicap in the bedroom had become a permanent fixture.
Whose wife had stopped expecting anything impressive and had quietly made peace with Tuesday evenings and thirty second performances that she has described to her friends in ways that would destroy you if you ever heard the exact words used.
Then golf found you.
And everything changed.
Suddenly you had balls again.
New balls.
Titleist balls. Callaway balls. Pro V1 balls that you clean obsessively and carry in a specific pocket and discuss with other men with the reverence previously reserved for scripture.
The vocabulary alone gave you new life.
Hole in one.
Four ball.
Back nine.
Stroke play.
These words have given the Kenyan man who scored a D minus in KCSE the confidence of a Harvard professor.
Walk into any clubhouse on a Wednesday evening or Saturday night and observe the phenomenon in its natural habitat.
There he is. Chest out. Drink in hand.
Handicap on his lips before you finish saying hello.
He is the most important man in the room and he needs you to know it.
On the street he corners you.
"Where do you play?"
"Can you join my four ball on Monday?"
"I'm doing the Muthaiga golf on Thursday if you want in?"
This man has not asked his wife how she is doing.
But he has texted six men this week about tee times.
His wife prays for attention.
His four ball gets it every Saturday at 5am.
Now here is the part that should make you sit very still.
The reason he is so enthusiastic about this hole.
The reason he studies it.
Approaches it carefully.
Reads it from every angle.
Takes his time.
Adjusts his stance.
Commits fully.
Is because somewhere along the way he forgot how to do this at home Hole.
At home it is two minutes. Maybe. On a good Tuesday.
Then he rolls over and sleeps like a man who has completed something significant.
His wife lies there. Staring at the ceiling.
Wondering what happened to the man she married.
But on the golf course.
On the golf course this man has patience.
He has technique. He has focus.
He will stand over that ball for four minutes reading the green before he commits.
Then he executes.
And if he gets close to the hole he will tell everyone in the clubhouse.
Everyone.
The same energy applied at home would have saved twenty marriages in his circle.
Instead it is being deployed on a fairway in Karen golf every Saturday morning while his wife makes tea alone and wonders why he woke up at 5am with more energy than she has seen from him in four years.
The Kenyan male golfer has found the one place where his balls work perfectly.
His handicap is respected.
His stroke is admired.
His four ball awaits him every weekend without complaint.
Nobody at the clubhouse asks him why it took thirty seconds.
Nobody at the clubhouse has that conversation.
The golf course has become the most successful marriage counselling service in Nairobi.
Not because it fixes marriages.
But because it gives the man somewhere to go where nobody is comparing him to who he used to be.
As an elder I must warn you.
Your wife has noticed the 5am energy.
She has noticed the new golf shirts.
She has noticed the group chat that is never on silent.
She has also noticed that the hole you are so obsessed with finding every Saturday morning is not the one you come home to.
The balls are multiplying on the course gentlemen.
Everything else is in retirement.
Don't say the servant of the Lord didn't warn you. 😂
Eugene Wamalwa has put the Kijana Wamalwa family through hell.
This story was reported by Citizen TV in January 2019.First, Kijana Wamalwa's wife, Yvonne Wamalwa, died prematurely from cancer. Eugene obtained a court injunction that blocked her from accessing her medical cover and pension to pay for treatment.
The family has suffered greatly. Kijana Wamalwa's daughter had stayed home for a year because no one could pay her school fees. When she asked her uncle Eugene for help with shopping or basics, he told them to sell the house, even though he was the one who got the court injunction blocking access to their parents' pension.
Eugene Wamalwa was plotting to disinherit them, deny them their share of their parents' property, and chase them away.
and indeed, He used his position as a Cabinet Secretary to make it happen before the 2022 elections.The President confirmed this on Tuesday!
Eugene Wamalwa may look innocent, but he is cruel and greedy. He has no wife or biological children of his own. Last I checked, he and his ex-wife (or girlfriend) Lucy Musundi had adopted several children or something,
So why is he grabbing his late brother's inheritance from his orphaned nieces and nephews?Is there any clean leader in the United Opposition? These hyénas have more red flags than The Soviet parade.
Leaders Unto Darkness:
Pres. Ruto and opposition lock horns in mudslinging duel
Name-calling and raw insults mark bare-knuckled showdown
Gachagua: We’ll make sure we give Ruto sleepless nights
Ruto: If you want us to go down that road, I'm ready for you
#CitizenExplainer
KRA has gained another weapon.
One that will make serial nil return filers hesitate before clicking that NIL button.
Last month, this tax dispute left many ears tingling.
There is a restaurant called Avery Lounge.
I have no clue how they mastered it, but they cook the finest fish in Utawala.
Just next to Banta. My friend Kasimu recently took me there.
The place also offers the most spectacular rooftop view of Embakasi.
But there was one small problem.
- Despite all that poshness, Avery Lounge kept filing nil tax returns.
KRA became curious.
So they sent their spies.
The spies returned with a disturbing report:
- Bosi, the place is full. People are eating life like tomorrow has been cancelled.
KRA was enraged.
- How could such a big restaurant keep declaring zero income?
So KRA went straight for their bank accounts.
And what did they find?
- Millions flowing in.
At that point KRA lost its remaining patience.
They demanded for:
- financial statements
- purchase & expense records
- explanations for the deposits
But Avery provided none of them.
KRA became even more dramatic.
- They totaled all the bank deposits for the year.
- Baptized them as income.
- Then applied 30% income tax on the entire amount.
And sent Avery a tax demand of ksh 93 million.
Avery ran to court.
- They argued that some of the deposits were loans.
- And that KRA had not factored in real expenditures like purchases & Wages
But there was a small problem.
- They had no loan agreements.
- No documentation for expenses.
- Nothing.
The court looked at the situation and said:
- Since the taxpayer refused to provide records, KRA had no choice but to treat the bank deposits as income.
And with that, the court told Avery:
- Pay the 93 million tax bill.
Case closed.
So what is the lesson here for you?
If you have money flowing through your bank accounts, and you cannot explain the source,
KRA will simply decide:
- All deposits = income.
- And tax those deposits.
Therefore:
- Be careful with nil returns.
- Keep records. In tax matters, records are king.
Personally, I'm learning Swahili and I think as an African, wherever on the continent you come from, that language is the future for a variety of reasons. That's the most important language our kids will need to speak over the next 25-40 years.
I'm not wrong about this. I'm just early.
Ride-hailing giant Uber has exited Tanzania, telling riders it would stop operating from 30 January 2026 after years of clashes over fares, commissions and regulatory control.
After careful consideration I finally made my decision.
I will cycle to #Kampala in 2 days for @droidconug. Keep me in your thoughts when the time comes to sweat it out.
I will also keep you busy with updates so that you do it with me virtually like we’ve always done before.
It’s back to the streets. Again.
They’ve brought a bill that proposes to extend the terms of the President, MPs, MCAs and Governors from 5 to 7 years and create the Office of a Prime Minister appointed by the President.
Stop this nonsense of amending the constitution.
#TekelezaKatiba