@astoldbyEva

Éva: Your favorite Jersey girl (even if you don't know it yet). The perfect blend of ambition, humor, & dry wit. Alis volat propriis.

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@VreelandZap @SittingWithADHD #ADHD is reading a 400 pg. book in 3 days or never.

I’ve decided to rebrand it as “balance”, so I can stop self-shaming about not completing any book that’s even 8/10 on the “interesting” scale.

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@mister_tap @olliescuts @rao_zam @fasc1nate Nope, just that good ol’ long subtraction - but I cannot emphasis this enough: *do not* let that trick you into thinking I’m your girl for the math questions….unless you want to be crying together @ the dining table. 😩

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@mister_tap @olliescuts @rao_zam @fasc1nate Lot of extra steps there but I get it 😩.

2023-1957= pic was taken 66 years ago.

If she was 20 when the pic was taken, she’d be 86 today (because 20 y/o + 66 years to date since pic was taken = 86 y/o).

[Kimberly LaRussa @KimberlyLaRussa]

TRUE ANGEL IN BUFFALO 💯 A THREAD: A local woman received a call on Christmas Eve, “Hi, you don't know me but I have your brother.” The woman’s brother’s name is Joey. He is 64 years old and mentally disabled.

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@realjasonstru @FreshAsFuk69 @78_reasons @KaraBTweets Now why did you have to ruin it for the rest of us with facts? 😩 What was the reason?

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@__MeishXx @jiggyjayy2 Noooo not your dad trying to bond with his 4 y/o grandson like he’s one of the uncs. 😭

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@aakhtar428 Relatable and perplexing as hell …like??? Are you suppose to catch up and bond over….*checks notes* how they treated you like trash? That’s gotta be an undiagnosed mental illness.

[Mimi Aboubaker @mimi_aboubaker]

@MayaElious 3/ ppl need to focus on themselves and exercise the courage to be honest and meet ppl from where they are rn

bc idk how others having demons has any bearings on you slaying yours? them being depressed/miserable doesn’t make you any less depressed/miserable

policing others is 😪

[Zar ✰ @Zarinacar]

I be like “long story short” then tell it with behind the scenes bonus features

[Andrew Fleischman @ASFleischman]

Why do our children live in constant fear of dehydration? I spent my entire childhood without carrying an ounce of water on my person but my kids are treated like beached orcas.

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@TattrieTattoo @ycsm1n Man violates wife’s trust by posting video of her giving birth, showing *everrrrything*.

Video of her most intimate, private moment ends up on a fetish site where pedophiles are known to frequent.

Husband defends his violation trust as nbd.

Your take away = she’s a bad mom.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

“Where are your people from?”

Whew. This is a teaching tool.

[jo lampert @jolampert]

There is no ‘teacher shortage’. There are thousands of qualified experiences teachers who are no longer teaching. There’s a shortage of respect and proper compensation for teachers allowing them to actually teach.

[NowThis Impact @nowthisimpact]

Introverts, unite! Separately! 😅 Watch what happened when a meetup of shy pups took place in Sweden

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@Tanese6 @CancerChicc @celine_tati @jiggyjayy2 You seem to be confused about how public Twitter threads & replies work.

Correcting a single capitalization error like it’s an egregious grammatical failure — rather than a simple auto-correct miss — …is beyond cringe-worthy.

[Dr. Elizabeth Haven Hawley @ehh_ptr]

Annual shout out to my mom, who said she wanted a small filing cabinet for mother's day when working on her dissertation. My dad got her a microwave. For two weeks she left several manila folders in it and wouldn't let anyone use it -- until my dad procured a filing cabinet.

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@ImaLycanthrope @brain1081 @buperac Satoshi Ōmura (in partnership with parasitology specialist William C. Campbell) developed Ivermectin At Merck Research Labs.

https://t.co/jc35qrdubb

[@astoldbyEva @AstoldbyEva]

@ImaLycanthrope @buperac Recreational ivermectin use and the treatment of cancer under physician supervision are not the same thing.

I pray that this isn’t something that needs further explanation.