Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺)

Wicked Men. Servants of Sauron. They are called to Mordor. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready.

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

Running on a Anti-Everything Watch It All Burn platform for 2020.

[Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22]

If I've learned anything from movies, it's that if you're a cop and the FBI takes over your case, you keep investigating because the FBI doesn't know nothing.

[worms cited @christapeterso]

The MAGA kids’ school seems extremely and consistently horrible

[child of god not animal (mysogynism) @TheWire2]

“#MAGA guy is just standing there! How is that harassment?” - #CovingtonCatholic

History -

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

@girlnarly 1 - chief wiggum: he’s a shit cop, but he loves the hell out of Ralph, like no matter what and that’s awesome.

2 - it’s a tie between (now) Gil and Otto.

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

@girlnarly Man, Gil is pretty awesome you’re right, damn. Never have I see-sawed more between “aw” and “ha!”

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I'd say probably 10% of my average day is spent making sudden movements to throw off any potential snipers aim.

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

*gets insulted by internet stranger

*finds the strength to go on living

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

@Gupton68 @EnigmaticEvil You got like seven-aught months left my dude. Almost tulip season, though. Not asparagus but pretty rad.

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

@EnigmaticEvil I mean opinions are different and whatnot, but you know he’s gonna be Hitler: no remorse for that baby. And that goes for any and all hypothetical-time-travel-would-you-kill-a-mass-murdering-war-mongering-dictator scenario.

[Nom_de_Benoît.pdf @NomDeBenoit]

*trying to fit in in a DM room*
What are we all talking about, Gary Potter?

[Christopher Ashman @CAshmanActor]

pirate: walk the plank
me: ok but I don’t have a leash lol
pirate: *drops sword* dad?

[Disappointed Smeagol (def not in the Illuminati🔺) @B_Shaftoe]

@KnownComment

[KnowComment @KnownComment]

I'm so tired of the unhelpful name calling and mindless insults so prevalent in today's society. Can't we all just unite in solidarity? I dream of the day we come together as humans and stand together against the real enemy, people who prefer chunky peanut butter over creamy.

[Christopher Ashman @CAshmanActor]

me: my new years resolution is to quit drinking

(two days later)

me: *dies from dehydration*

[Spazio🇵🇸 @Spaziotwat]

[to camera]

"Have YOU ever wanted to stop reading a whole sentence half way through?"

{advert for twitter}

[Steve vs. Ninjas @stevevsninjas]

*Workers at the pinball factory trying to go home, but the automatic swinging doors keep knocking them back inside*