The Real Banquo’s Ghost

I have decided to enter the game...and the game is terrifying...and biased...and slightly immature...

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Nothing says “lead the Pentagon” like mommy making phone calls for her very good boy.

[Kirk Herbstreit @KirkHerbstreit]

Politics aside-REALLY honored to receive this personal note from @POTUS sharing his appreciation and compassion for the loss of our beloved Ben.
I can only hope that Ben knows how many people he touched.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

The richest girl in the world, billionaire Athena Onassis, celebrated her tenth birthday this week.

What's it like to be the richest girl in the world? Well, to give you some idea - at the party, they had two cakes.

[Dan Mallon @MallonDan]

They should consider one time per game when a random person in attendance can punch Rob Manfred in the face.

[New Rockstars @NewRockstars]

If all three Spider-Men stopped pulling their punches, who would win?

[Jake Meyers Fan Club Member @DelRaz09]

MLB fans: Can you remove blackouts?

Manfred: You wanna pitch clock?

MLB fans: No, we want to end...

Manfred: Say no more, we'll add a ghost runner in extra innings.

MLB fans: What?

Manfred: Ever heard of a golden at bat?

MLB fans: [turns on football game]

[Joe Russo @joerussotweets]

The greatest cameo of all time and it’s not even close.

[MLB Deadline News @MLBDeadlineNews]

Rob Manfred says there’s “buzz” around adding the “Golden At-Bat” rule, where a team could choose one at-bat in every game to use its best hitter regardless of where they are in the lineup.

This would be the dumbest rule implementation in the history of professional sports.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Doctor Jack Kevorkian was responsible for another death this week, this time a fifty-eight year old woman. She is the twenty-sixth of Kevorkian's patients to die since 1990.

(Norm shakes his head sadly, in disgust)

When are people going to realize? He is NOT a good doctor.

[dub 🌊 (true patriot haha thanks sir!) @dubs_thoughts]

Gotta go 1-6 to fully commit to the bit

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

[Norm's opening joke after O.J. was found not guilty]

Well, it is finally official. Murder is legal in the state of California.

[Carmely Sandiego @orangecrushable]

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

[Oriana González @ReporterOriana]

i have lived a thousand lives since

[Jacob @Jacobtheclipper]

Why dont you watch the NBA anymore?

THIS is why:

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

One of the greatest joys in life was the moment you got the news your school was snowed out. A rush of adrenaline like no other.

[EU says Elon should not lie abt my blue check @emptywheel]

If you think Biden flipflopping on Hunter pardon after Trump names Kash Patel his FBI Director is worse than Trump flipflopping on whether Project 2025 is the core of his policy agenda, you should turn in your journalism credentials and also your democracy ones.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

It's terrible politics and precedent but I'm going to be honest and say that the Trump team has been brutally clear they want revenge on their enemies, they are obsessed with Hunter in particular, and that would weigh like hell on me if I were his father and could protect him.

[Sleeper @SleeperHQ]

Tough loss for the Chiefs 😔