Barbara Merrin

Retired Animatronic Cowboy Cat

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@OhNoSheTwitnt It's not already?

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

Today I told a co-worker that he looked nice in the green color he was wearing and he laughed and said "that's funny, because my prison uniform was the same color." I told him that he must have looked lovely for those 5 years.

[Daniel Radosh @danielradosh]

No Republican has the instincts to be the Next Trump. If Trump got caught flying to Cancun he'd have doubled down. "You know what getting out of Texas makes me? Smart! Maybe I'll move here. Maybe I'll claim it for America. Wouldn't we love that, folks? You'd do it if you could!"

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

Is Ashley Madison still a thing? Do they have a retired mascot section?

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

I see so many dating site commercials where the happy couple is “having an adventure” together in a field or city when all I really want is someone to enjoy sitting on a couch making fun of the same things as me.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@rickit Also frustrating is having these disorders and not having the money to afford treatment.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

I follow a lot of mid-century design groups, but this has to be one of most favorite posts.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@PFTompkins My memory of Ethan Frome is that I was trying to hook up with a guy in college who was reading it and he offered to sleep on the floor. I am still angry at Ethan Frome.

[Andrew @eveysthoughts]

@calebsaysthings My wife always says: “Nothing points out a previous affair more than a joint facebook profile.”

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@jontypimms_jon Peckers

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

I’m also mad about the ketchup and mustard squirting commercial where the girl says it’s Abstract Expressionism and the mom laughs instead of saying “you and Dad better clean this the fuck up. I also don’t appreciate you trivializing the Abstract Expressionism

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

Does anyone else feel bad for sign spinner guy in the Progressive commercials? Like, that’s the best way he can make money right now. Stop making fun of him.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

Marjorie Taylor Greene deserves no more fucking air time. Bye, Felicia.

[James Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak]

Just glad Mel Brooks is still alive to learn about Jewish space lasers.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@Kappa_Kappa Idiocracy. But in a way I don’t think I missed it.

[Toby Herman @tobyherman27]

Like a Jewish mother would ever let her kid anywhere near a laser.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

@OrganasArmy Hi Laura! Jon Stewart went back on Twitter so I decided I’d follow. Also, it feels less contaminated now.

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

Will people at work please stop asking me what fun things I’m doing this weekend? I’M STAYING HOME LIKE I CAN’T DO ALL WEEK AND NOT CATCHING OR SPREADING COVID!Please stop telling me about all your going out plans. I know we’ve all adapted to being risk tolerant, but PLEASE STOP!

[Rachel McCartney @RachelMComedy]

March 2020: I'll write a book with all this free time

January 2021: maybe I should try heroin

[Barbara Merrin @BarbTheBroad]

I unabashedly went to Aldi’s wearing cropped skinny jeans, black ankle socks, and loafers, and feel like I hit some kind of middle-aged white lady fashion milestone.