Kenya

Chemical analyst//Quality Control //Quality Assurance//Laboratory analysis
Customer Support Assistant.

[Eric @amerix]

A man's end month:

"Daddy, new shoes for church. Mummy said the one I wanted was 2,000."

"Hello dear, also, don't forget to deposit Ray's fees tomorrow. It is 18,000 for Grade 5 pupils."

"Hello Dad, the WiFi isn't working. I have an online lesson for Research Writing this evening. Send 6,500 to pay for its reconnection."

"Hello parents, the Grade 10 Yellow will be going for a Mathematics trip to the Museum of Illusion, Nairobi. The cost of the trip per student is 15,000."

"Boss, the tree on the lower side fell on the cowshed. Fundi repaired it. Send 4,000."

"Hello, dear, my dad's monthly diabetes clinic is tomorrow. Send me 7,000 to fuel the car."

"Baba Ray, good afternoon. Ray took three bunches of bananas for cooking yesterday. The Bill is 1500."

"Bro, the vet treated mum's cow. I paid 100, the balance is 2,900."

"Boss, the balance on the previous repair of the sockets and bulbs was 6,000. Please send me so that I can pay the electrical shop."

"Bro, my husband was severely injured last night after a fight. We are fundraising for his head surgery. As my elder bro, send 3,000."

"Hello, sir, James, the janitor in the maintenance department, lost his wife. We are fundraising. Send 1,000."

"Boss, I will not be there on Wednesday, so bring your car for service tomorrow morning. The bill is 8,000."

"Hello, cousin, I was called for an interview but I don't have fare. Please send me 1,000 for fare and lunch."

"Praise God, brethren, Kevin's wedding committee will sit tomorrow. As the chairman, you will kickstart the fundraising with 25,000."

"Good evening, your gym subscription will end tomorrow. Please pay 2,500 to continue with your fitness classes without interruption. Thank you."

"Hi, I need a favour. My gas went off when I had just put the veggies on cooker. Please send me 3,000. I will refund you tomorrow."

To be a MAN is to bear responsibility for all things.
#MasculinitySaturday

[CPA Wachira Joseph @WashiraX]

KRA is not playing with KTDA.

KTDA buys and sells tea leaves. Not tea. Tea ni chai. Chai ni ya kukunyua. Tea leaves ni majani ya chai. Kirui are we together?

Now,

KTDA was growing very fast. They wanted the Gulf people to taste the classical definition of proper Kenyan tea.

In 2008, they opened a branch in Dubai. Branch role, to market and sell tea in the Gulf.

In this setup, KRA was eating well. Because branches are like agents. They sell and send all profits back home.

So Dubai sold tea. Profits came back to Kenya. KTDA consolidated everything. And handed KRA a biig fat cheque.
KRA was extremely happy.

In 2014, KTDA got tired of tickling KRA.

They discovered.

- If they register a separate company in Dubai
- Gulf profits won’t be taxed in Kenya
- And Dubai tax was 0% too

So no taxes nowhere.

Directors said: Perfect. Do it. Fast!

As they are doing all this, they are unaware of one dangerous sentence sitting quietly in Kenyan tax law.

It reads:
• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is a Kenyan resident company.

The Dubai company was registered. Life was good. Money was flowing. Zero income tax.

Next year, KRA noticed their cheque suddenly got thinner.

They asked KTDA Kenya, ndugu ni nini inaendelea hapa?

KRA got the shocking news of its life from KTDA.

- We do not have a problem paying taxes. But the Dubai branch has been upgraded to a full Dubai company. And profits are no longer coming home to be taxed.

KRA could not believe it. It returned to Times Tower. And embarked a fault finding mission.

In 2021, they found out:

- Directors of KTDA Dubai were all Kenyans
- They lived and drank tea in Kenya
- They controlled every single affair of KTDA Dubai from Kenya

Wakasema baas, nini ingine tunatafuta?

They invoked the one dangerous sentence. You remember it?

• Any company managed and controlled from Kenya is a Kenyan company.

KRA declared KTDA Dubai a Kenyan company

• Tax demanded 122M

KTDA ran to court with Dubai registration papers.

The judges questioned KRA why it wanted to harvest where Kenya did not plant?

KRA responded: My Lords, if your hen lays eggs in your neighbour’s land, is that egg yours or your neighbour’s?

Judges paused.

Then sided with KRA.

KTDA wakaabiwa walipe tax.

Case closed.

Lesson.

• Structure your offshore company properly.

• Or KRA will structure it for you.

[SEDUCTIVE MIND @MidnightMuse___]

5 KEYS FOR BETTER S*X

1. The 2-2-2 method.

[Eric @amerix]

VIEWER DISCRETION!

As promiscuous women continue to insult me, here is a video by Raphael Tuju.

It is called THE SILENT EPIDEMIC,

It was a popular IEC (Information, Education and Communication) tool in the 90s and 00s promoting behaviour change and sensitising the public about Sexually Transmitted Infections.

Just like the 90s, a lot of young men today have become reckless and indiscriminate in the sex market.

Promotional sexual health messages have since been erased in our public institutions (Schools, colleges and hospitals), leaving an awareness gap that is silently predisposing young people to HIV/AIDS and STDs.

Young men engage in risky sexual behaviours, oblivious to the consequences of their choices.

This video is just 18 minutes, and it will save your life.

CHANGE or PERISH

[Eric @amerix]

ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN NEWLY EMPLOYED

The Amerix community has numerous opportunities for its followers.

The connections are always beneficial.

During the last Men's Assembly, I witnessed 3 young men being assured of instant employment.

Seeing jobless young men being given a new lease of life through these connections is amazing.

However, once these young men get the jobs, they vanish.

They never give feedback or bother to update their experiences.

Only for them to reappear later with sob stories of how they lost their jobs or conditions didn't favour them to continue. Therefore, they need me to connect them to any other available opportunities.

This kind of self-entitled attitude is so nauseating and repulsive.

I always block these kinds of people when they come to my inbox.

So, if you are a young man who has just been employed or has found a short contract, do the following:

Please don't blow it once you receive your first salary, payment or profit.

• Take 10% to church, mosque, charity, or any structured self-help group to support the weak, sick, needy or meek.

• Take 10% and give it to your parents – ( 60% to your Father and 40% to your mother). They can choose to blow it or pay your siblings' fees.

• Take 5% and give it to the person who connected you to the job. If it were contractual work, take 10% and give it to the person who connected you to the contract.

• Take 10% and save.

• Budget the rest (60%) for your expenses ( 35% pay your debts, 25% foot your bills).

This is on your FIRST SALARY or PAYMENT.

Don't receive the money, and the first thing in your head is a phone, a laptop and alcohol.

You will block future opportunities.

Don't say, "It is my money, I have worked for it, and I deserve all of it."

It is not your money. Nobody owns money.

Money is just an idea held in trust by a legal tender called currency.

Money is a system of mutual trust and shared belief, enabling cooperation among strangers.

Therefore, the most IMPORTANT things here are TRUST and COOPERATION.

What would it benefit you to pocket the money and lose the mutual trust and Cooperation?

Don't take this for granted.

Remember, the war is spiritual.

Win it at the spiritual level.

Stop sleeping,

Wake up!

#BetterTogether

[Martha Karua @MarthaKarua]

As received

[Kenya @BenjaminKathoka]

@ExperienceUSIU Greetings,
Is the Mastercard Foundation Scholarship program for Fall intake open for application?

[USIU-Africa @ExperienceUSIU]

Experience USIU-Africa in a different way!!

A redesigned USIU-Africa website is launching soon - built for easier access to information, a smoother user experience and a modern, intuitive interface for our entire community.
Get ready to explore a smarter way to connect with USIU-Africa. 🚀

#WebsiteLaunch #USIUAfrica #ExperienceUSIU

[USIU-Africa @ExperienceUSIU]

Building scalable, investable enterprises in Africa requires moving beyond mere entrepreneurship to create robust, sustainable institutions that can navigate fragmented regulatory landscapes and infrastructure gaps.

Join Dr. James Mworia Mwirigi, Group Chief Executive Officer & Managing Director, Centum Investment Company Plc. as he shares his experiences and insights in a Public Lecture themed: Building Scalable African Enterprises.

📅Date: Thursday, March 12, 2026
⏰Time: 2.30pm - 4.00pm (EAT)
📍Venue: LT2, Chandaria School of Business, United States International University - Africa (USIU-Africa)

#PublicLecture #USIUAfrica #ExperienceUSIU

[USIU-Africa @ExperienceUSIU]

Join us for the 2nd edition of our graduate networking event "Grad Connect" themed "Turning connection into careers through collaborations".

The Grad Connect offers a unique opportunity to connect with fellow Master’s and PhD students, school management, alumni, and industry leaders - all in an elegant and engaging setting.

🔗 Registration Link: https://t.co/UHPhh4FGjr
💰 Charges: KES. 2,500 (USIU-Africa Students) | KES. 4,000 (USIU-Africa Alumni and All Others)
📅 Date: Saturday, March 28, 2026
⏰ Time: 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM
📍 Venue: Safari Park Hotel and Casino
👗🥼Dress Code: Bold & Sophisticated

Secure your spot by making a payment via
* MPESA Paybill No: 516 900
* Account: StudentID-Networking (OR NationalID-Networking)

For inquiries, reach out to:
Sally Ogange - 📞0792 547 608 | Emmanuela Deng - 📞0700 220 351

#USIUAfrica #ExperienceUSIU #GraduateNetworking #GraduateConnect

[USIU-Africa @ExperienceUSIU]

Are you an employer looking to recruit? OR
Are you a student looking for potential employers?

Do not miss out on the USIU-Africa CAREER FAIR WEEK 2026!

Mark your calendar!
🗓️ Date: June 8 ~ 12
⏲️ Time: 8.00am - 5.00pm (EAT)
📍 Venue: USIU-Africa

#CareerFair2026 #EducationToTakeYouPlaces #USIUAfrica #ExperienceUSIU

[Dr. Miguna Miguna @MigunaMiguna]

You don’t need a university degree to understand kindness. This is what Africans need in governance.

https://t.co/xilpwbZM2x

[Eric @amerix]

Things you should never debate with family and friends:

• Nutrition

• Politics

• Religion

Avoid. Be silent.

Most people are so brainwashed by Big Pharma, politicians, false prophets and the media.

They won't comprehend the complex events happening globally.

[Abojani Investment 🇰🇪🇺🇬🇹🇿 @TheAbojani]

THE CYCLE OF NORMAL SALARIED NAIROBIAN

At 35 years, buy an overpriced mortgage. (ignorance and class make the developers milk them dry) go to a bank and secure an expensive loan..tie your payslip to the maximum term of 20 years...lose your liquidity, money to invest and financial flexibility.

By 40 years, since you cant raise school fees for the self-imposed social status, take short term loans and take your children to expensive schools...juggle your debts until you see your kids through school.

At 55 years, tired, financially insecure, and totally drained. retire, use the little benefits to clear off the debts, start some businesses in an unfamiliar environment.

At 60 years, the business is not doing well, barely surviving on pensions and some income from the village farm. develop some lifestyle diseases, diabetes, blood pressure...etc

At 63 years...life too much to manage. EXIT and leave a family with no financial backup. @cheruiyotkb

[Kenya @BenjaminKathoka]

@SafaricomPLC UAO414S9TR Confirmed. Ksh700.00 paid to Robert muriuki mukiri. on 24/1/26 at 6:07 https://t.co/4cEdc7wqqK M-PESA balance is Ksh6,082.36. Transaction cost, Ksh0.00.

Kindly reverse. Wrong till

[Eric @amerix]

Men,

Lastly,

This is a reminder,

A Crow is beautiful, but we chose a chicken.

The chicken lays eggs, and has good meat.

Don't marry a woman because she is beautiful,

Marry her because she has good character, values, young, fertile and submissive.

#MasculinitySaturday

[𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒾𝓊𝓂 @waithera_jk]

at what point did you know your parents had lost you as a child? i’ll go first. with my dad, it was when he slammed me so hard against the wall i lost consciousness for a few seconds whilst shielding my face from the blows that followed. i was 17 & working. pains me to date

[Kavuli M. Bernard, FCH @BernardKavuli]

Sifuna: ODM isn't in government. Period!

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

Senator Edwin Sifuna: I am forever grateful to Raila for choosing me as the ODM secretary general. I don’t know why you chose me, Baba

[Billy @MwangiHub]

"Don't force us into Tutam, don't add anything to a dead person's mouth." - Edwin Sifuna