Beth Cunniffe

Fremulon.

That's when the cannibalism started.

[Beth Cunniffe @BethCunniffe]

Getting made fun of in shorthand is the kind of abuse I live for. https://t.co/hccAprbRL6

[Ryan Peasland @rpeasland]

@BethCunniffe @cuspoferuption

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

but, what should we call the song?
-the B52s, first draft

[toad @thelifeoftoad]

not gonna kill the bug in my sink but not gonna save it either. he needs to find his own way out. we both do

[augustine🍉THE GRADUATE🎓 @stargirlBaird]

when you guys read shampoo bottle instructions do you imagine yourselves as the shampoo or as the scalp

[julie @helencftroy]

when i read i forget i exist

[cants @cantseyy]

'I've done the top 10 most expensive premier league signings but there's no united players in it'

'make it a top 14'

[mimimimi @munichg1rl]

i also mention by best friend at every opportunity so i understand matt damon

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

i don't know how many more $12-16 transactions i have left in me

[Fergus Craig @FergusCraig]

Imagine how much staying up for this match is going to knock Steven Bartlett back this week.

[Sky Sports News @SkySportsNews]

🗣️ "My Mum and Dad don't know, I told them that I went to sleep at 10pm."

English school children reveal the excuses they used to watch England's historic win in Mexico 😅 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[a rare photo of sean connery signed by roger moore @steamedhamms]

quite enjoying this tbf, might start waking up in the middle of the night for the most stressful 2 hours of my life more often

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

Someone said the UK heat is like the heat that comes out of the back of a bus & I’ve never heard a more accurate description

[27. @dimvji]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use. the worst part is everything else

[𝜗℘ @lacedli]

The kindest thing literature does is remind you that your peculiar little feelings have always existed. Someone, in some century, was equally confused by love, bored by society, tired of performing, and hungry for meaning.

[* @_lowkeyalfred]

Reading will forever be one of my favorite hobbies because it’s like bed rotting, but with moral superiority.

[Alfie @alfie_t8]

Just get pissed in a park ffs stop trying to import yank nonsense

[smoky 🌋 @losethewar]

i genuinely think about this every night

[David Walker @DaveModculture]

RIP Judith, but you’re name will live on whenever anyone you know goes on more than 2 holidays a year.

[horse @horsetwting]

fuck you