Final Girl

My sense of humor is wet and loud and risqué, like topless day at the water park (she/her)

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

when you ask rich people what they’d do if they won the lottery they’re so vague like “I’d end world hunger” and when you ask poor or working class people they’re like “I’d buy everyone I love a house” 😭

[THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg]

like ????

[Final Girl @BiHunter15]

This is what Camus meant when he said should I kill myself or get coffee.

[call me by your tennis potential @urpastaboi]

Pharmacy: Please, dear gawd, we filled your prescription days ago. Come get it.

Me, a severely mentally ill queer: *finger guns* maybe, we'll see

[Final Girl @BiHunter15]

@milf_hunter3000 Show them Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. That’s camp. The mom from Matilda? Camp.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

therapy is not enough, I need everyone who made fun of me in middle school to be jealous of me now

[riddling little freak paul dano @5OB0DIES]

the skarsgårds have raw viking physicality but the culkins are ankle biting ferals so it could go either way depending on how riled up kieran is

[❤️‍🔥 @_LadyDaydream_]

I love the post divorce glow up all women get when they finally leave their loser husbands.

[Ken Cheng @kenchengcomedy]

can confirm this is true. I went to university and there was not a single white person there. maybe one at most. we called him White Brian

[Jessie @jessiejensen]

The Savior fined $5M for obscuring size of portfolio

[bex @ibtcbex]

I look so fucking good today and thought everyone should know

[Final Girl @BiHunter15]

@clayson11 Im going to mouth kiss you for that. THANK YOU

[Final Girl @BiHunter15]

How much you wanna bet I could throw a football over the mountains?

[Final Girl @BiHunter15]

Miley Cyrus is what Princess Diana could have been. And I won’t be explaining further because I’m 🍃 and I forgot how I even got to that point.

[out of context hannah montana @OCHannahMontana]

i can buy myself flowers