Bloop 😜

[UNDERGROUND RAPPER LAWLIET XXS @Ryuksasshair]

I'm fucking crying this is so backhanded and funny as hell

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

found out today i’m allergic to my cat, and the allergist told me to stop letting her sleep in my bed. over my dead, histamine-consumed body.

[lucy @theamazingphil]

whatever you do try not to think about phil celebrating his 40th birthday on stage next year with the guy he fell in love with when he was 22

[gal౨ৎ @prtygal777]

the way the parents are mogging with that eyeliner lipstick and pose while their chopped baby is just there is killing me

[Viggie Smalls @Viggie_Smalls93]

Gen Z really cooked with the baggy pants though, shit was never meant to be so tight everything is free and peaceful now

[Alia Arcangel🌛🌌 @AliaArkangel]

at 15 my gay mom caught me at the gay club cause her gay friends spotted me and called her >:(

[Zoya🕊️ @Zoya_ki_batein]

This is why men shouldn't be legislating women's reproductive health.

[yen @blehhcel]

why do nsfw accs always have black&white pfps with names like 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓪 is it illegal to not be cringe as fuck

[char ᢉ𐭩 @alcdec]

doomscrolling on twitter feels so much more productive than doomscrolling on tiktok bc it’s like i’m basically reading

[minniemenu?! @minniesmenu]

fell asleep while reading a socmed sexting au and when i unlocked my phone in the morning i looked at the messages in horror thinking it was MY conversation

[ottawaisms @ottawaisms]

Obsessed with people who think French is a secret language in public. Quebec is less than a km away brother.

[✨philussy✨ @philowphrincess]

i don’t think dan and phil would kiss on stage.

however,

i DO think they’d be evil enough to cast a shadow silhouette of them backstage pretending to make out sloppy style. i wouldn’t rule that out.

[Chip Thief @ShatteredSFW]

I think if a tesco staff member doesn't show up to check your ID for an energy drink within 15 minutes you should be allowed to simply leave with your meal deal without paying

I've been waiting for 20 so far now and cannot even see any staff whatsoever

[mar - ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ @marjaphee]

joked with pretty girl that im gonna get her pregnant and two things happened

1. she went along with the bit and said that i could

b. uh oh

[⋆ rachel ⋆ @racheIaIi]

do waterparks know about the under 16 social media ban in the uk do they know they’re about to loose a core part of their fanbase do they know they have 30 minutes

[Phil Lester @AmazingPhil]

CAN'T WAIT TO GET HARD WITH YOU ALL IN REAL LIFE

[shanny @_Shanny_4]

“The government doesn't owe you anything!”
Buddy, I pay taxes.
The government damn well owes me a LOT.

[V1S4G3 || 53R4PH1MU77 @porplemenace]

Snapped at a coworker just now

Got he/him'd, politely corrected him, he doubled down with a:
"She or whatever"

Me: "No, not whatever, you're going to get it right. I'm tired of this."

Him: "You don't need to be offended, you need to be patient."

It's Always Our Fault Somehow.

[𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖉 @cursedcadaver]

my brain wondered why crumpet was being censored

[jj 🦆 @mclrnshitposts]

A lady just yelled at me for crossing a zebra crossing???? And that she needed to stop??? Lady??????? Do you know what a zebra crossing is????????? Are you familiar with Australian road law????????? I’m your boss in this situation?????????? You have to give way to me?????????????