Bridget Higgins :)

*insert some mildly creative bio here*

[Bridget Higgins :) @Bridget_Liveit]

Wake up. Say you're going to have a good day. And then follow through. :)

[David Holtz @daveholtz]

tfw you arrive at your @airbnb and realize that the whole space is essentially just a large-ish bathroom that the host put a bed into

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

if I was in charge of naming drugs I would give them easy names like SeizeNoMore instead of levetiracetam

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

*working in pediatric ER*

me: hi my name is Josh and I’m going to be your doctor today!

kid: what is that *points to badge*

me: this is my hospital ID badge! I was having a very bad hair day that day haha

kid: it looks the same today

me:

[Reveille X @reveille]

Y’all! Look how big this chew toy is!!

[Aggie Sports 365 @365Aggie]

The worst thing about being a sports fan is I’ll have myself convinced we can beat Alabama by Thursday…

[Prof Peter Hotez MD PhD DSc(hon) @PeterHotez]

Ever ask yourself, "what the heck is going on?" First Ebola, COVID, now monkeypox and polio? ANS: The confluence of political instability, deforestation, urbanization, human migrations, with climate change, antivaccine activism. All in my book @JHUPress https://t.co/78FCxGeZlA

[mango loco ❤️‍🔥🥭 @theskysdelight]

hi welcome to dutch bros what can i get started for you?

[Barstool Texas A&M @BarstoolTexasAM]

Roll Tears Roll

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

I just learned that if a hermit crab finds a new shell that is too big it will wait for other hermit crabs who need new shells to gather and then they will organize themselves by size and trade shells and I am pissed that the crabs have a better housing market than we do

[scharpling @scharpling]

I would like to bet everything I have that next year there will be a Superbowl commercial with Will Smith and Chris Rock eating Tostitos or something, saying "this new queso really slaps"

[Jake Cole @ThatJakePC]

I would 100% watch either an authorized biopic or a roman à clef about Will Smith aggressively micromanaging his career & image for 30 full years for both box office success and gunning for an Oscar and then finally cracking from the internal stress 20 minutes before it paid off

[Kick Push Kgosi @MrSkinnyGenes]

If Will Smith hadn’t slapped Chris Rock I wouldn’t have known the Oscars even happened

[Bridget Higgins :) @Bridget_Liveit]

This is so so good :)

[Texas A&M University @TAMU]

🎉 Do it for the confetti on Canvas. 🎉

[HB•RAINEY™️ @RaineyOvalle]

Bro why is laundry THEE most exhausting chore? I do laundry for 2 hours and feel like I fought 12 seagulls.

[gabbi @gabbi_thoughts]

i love a man with a bedtime. boys don't need to be staying up late and having thoughts. that's how we ended up with the stock market

[Trevor Branch (moved to Bluesky) @TrevorABranch]

countries banned because of the omicron variant
vs.
countries with confirmed omicron cases