The Bungle Diaries

Bear

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

1 Oct 2018: Geoffrey didn’t get up today.

Played with crayons.

No supper.
😥

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

27 July 2026: Zippy didn’t get up today.

Played with crayons.

No supper.
😥

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

28 May 2021: Freddy didn’t come round to play today.

Played with crayons.
😢

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@barry_owl I’d love to see #LiquidyBlowOffs trending, Barry. We all love uncorking blow offs. We all love liquid. So what could be better than #LiquidyBlowOffs ?

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

5 Dec 73: An extremely drunk Christopher Lillicrap payed an unwelcome visit at midnight. Staggering outside Jane’s window, he belched: “Bong! It’s Lillicock O'Clock! The Lilliclock has struck 12 - and that’s not the only thing that’s ‘12’ if you get my drift.”

Buns for supper

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@christhebarker See also: https://t.co/QUjj9yZcKR

[Barry Owl @barry_owl]

RT if you close your eyes when you flush the toilet and imagine it's an appreciative round of applause from the lavatory sprites.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

4 Dec 73: “Goldilocks tasted the porridge from the first bowl.
‘This porridge is too hot!’ she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
‘This porridge is too cold,’ she said.
So, she tasted the last...”

“Jane?”
“Yes, Bungle?”
“I want to sniff your knickers.”

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@Radio9L What’s the difference between a ‘cave’ and a ‘grotto’?
#askDavetheCave

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@barry_owl @SouthernRailUK I think you’ll find it’s called a “bill” Barry.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

3 Dec 1973

9am: Played with crayons
12pm: Zippy called Christopher Lillicrap “Christopher Smellycock”
6pm: Buns ‘n’ Tizer for tea
8pm: Bed
1am: Crept into Jane’s room and sniffed her knickers

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@Brenda_nugclean @barry_owl @ChrisGPackham Chicken anus.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@Brenda_nugclean @barry_owl @ChrisGPackham Nope. Definitely the anus.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@FeeScreech @gar78 In the event of a no-deal Brexit, on the 1st of November many of the UK's EU subsidised farmers will immediately be bankrupt. Boris plans to take money intended for the NHS Long Term Plan to temporarily cover their asses.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@barry_owl 80% shame, Barry. But the 20% of pride helped me cast my vote for what was truly “right”
#TakePrideInLiquidyBlowOffs

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@MrPhilNorman Straight from the unique’s mouth
https://t.co/isiovTTaf0

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@alistaircoleman “Sat by the fire, feasting on gruel,
Nan’s wooden leg, our source of fuel.
Songs round the piano, no LSD,
I must reiterate - NO LSD.
Listening to Pink Floyd, ‘Piper’ & ‘Relics’,
Mince for our supper-NO psychedelics,
Naked at daybreak, burning an effigy,
But, to reiterate-no LSD”

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@barry_owl @BootsUK Poor Barry. And you’re one of their best customers.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

Best Bungle?

1 Adorabungle
2 Comfortabungle
3 Unflappabungle
4 Questionabungle

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@MichaelAHann How very rude.

I am more than qualified. Just look at an amazing letter I received from Matthew, who is 10 years old.

[The Bungle Diaries @BungleDavidson]

@barry_owl @easyJet Poor Keith. Let’s hope his wish was “I wish dozens of bum nugs would be jettisoned from a passing aeroplane”