Simon Lambert

Independent CCTV specialist to relieve video surveillance headaches.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland Maths problem solving. Which channels do you watch?

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

DM me for licences & training.

[JVSG.com / Ipica Team @cctvdesigner]

IP Video System Design Tool 2026 is here!
https://t.co/d0XUj6UQ3F
This update brings more precision, smarter 3D capabilities, and faster performance for real CCTV projects.

If you’re working on surveillance system design, this is definitely worth trying.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@RanTeeThree @rorysutherland @stewybabe30 Maybe it's because the agencies' clients' feedback is that the over-51s won't drink the gen-Z koolaid and, thus, cause problems.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Alan_Couzens @G_S_Bhogal "If I’m driving and see a car crash, I’m going to slow down and look. 💥🚗

But slowing down to look isn’t a signal that I want to see more car crashes."

No. First, it signals I don't want to hit the slowing car in front! Second, then it might be safe to look at the accident.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland @tropicalsocks Our Scoville kettle cost 28 quid and has a temperature setting. Maybe he was a tightwad and shopped at Asda too.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@daviscreates @rorysutherland Similarly cagrinned, I since discovered that with a membership of your local library, either they'll have a copy, or they'll let you sign up to the Borrow Box app where you can download and read, inc. back issues, plus much more.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland Your Speccy column should be read aloud at every school's morning assembly.

[Steve Stewart-Williams @SteveStuWill]

Your regular friendly reminder: These four datasets all have the same mean, median, and variance. Moral of the story: Always visualize your data!

[Link below.]

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland Here you are... https://t.co/4KOAQiROu3

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland @jasonhooper99 Drives me nuts. Tinny little speakers, turned up too loud. Jarring and pointless. Whoever implemented it should be made to suffer it through headphones gaffer-taped to their head all day.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland @cactusmaac @RichardBratby Ooh, I dunno, though. When Newark sewage works is blowing in the wrong direction... 😉

Rail website gave a zero changes option but, yes, last time I rode those rails, many years ago, it was change at Newark.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@cactusmaac @RichardBratby @rorysutherland London to Lincoln is less than two hours on a direct line. Maybe you're being facetious.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Mike_Batt @londonsymphony Unmistakably Batty.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@rorysutherland @susanjcarey @austint The sky seems barely visible, and this gives an oppressive feeling.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Mike_Batt Are you moonlighting as a software developer?
"Desktop Ticker by UK developer Mike Batt does just that. You add your RSS feeds and sit back as the news scrolls by."
You clever polymath sausage, you.

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Mike_Batt @johnjmarley When I played it at home my Aussie missus accused you of nicking the Triple M theme 😄

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Mike_Batt @johnjmarley I'm the other one 😉😁

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@Mike_Batt @batt_mike Love this version. Ken Bruce played it on his Radio 2 show years ago, and it was a stop-everything-and-just-listen moment. Very, very Mr B!

[Simon Lambert @CCTVdecisions]

@RJ_Youngling Thanks, yep, it would be great to catch up some time cuz you're always up to something fascinating 😎