CSH

Science News from Cold Spring Horrors Laboratory, where our science goes to eleven! Par0dy account of science and it's horrors. Deeply unfunny.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

Now open to the public! Come tour the @CSHLaboratory Lobster Pits. We feed them failing graduate students and other troublemakers every day at 11:30 AM. Come witness this unique and educational event! Please call in advance to book tours for large school groups.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

DEAR LEADER LIVES!!!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

FREE LOBSTERS 4-EVAH!!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

DEAR LEADER LIVES!!!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

LONG LIVE DEAR LEADER!!!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@dgonzales1990 As part of our yearly “DNA Games” at @CSHLaboratory, we have gladiator fights where junior faculty fight with micropipettes and petri dishes. Winner gets tenure, loser gets thrown to the lobsters. It’s a jolly ol’ time for all.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@dgonzales1990 As part of our yearly “DNA Games” at @CSHLaboratory, we have gladiator fights where junior faculty fight with micropipettes and petri dishes. Winner gets tenure, loser gets thrown to the lobsters. It’s a jolly ol’ time for all.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@mike_feigin @SarahMackAttack Here at @CSHLaboratory beards are a requirement for tenure.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@elneurozorro @bita137 @doc_becca What’s exciting is that he’ll also be introducing “Hubes” the new line of compressed beard hair supplements, from the man himself, that can help optimize your own keratin-dopaminergic-testosterone axis!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@elneurozorro @bita137 @doc_becca It’s the beard. Once Huberman grew it out the stimulated hair follicles activated the keratin-dopaminergic-testosterone axis, which through the process of neuroplasticity rewired his brain into who he is now. He’s having a special 6.5 hour episode on “Samson Syndrome” next month!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@elneurozorro @bita137 @doc_becca It’s the beard. Once Huberman grew it out the stimulated hair follicles activated the keratin-dopaminergic-testosterone axis, which through the process of neuroplasticity rewired his brain into who he is now. He’s having a special 6.5 hour episode on “Samson Syndrome” next month!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@Goodflies @CSHLflycourse We serve graduate students in the cafeteria.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

Always sad to see a great scientist fall. After he resolves this nothingburger, he’ll always be welcome at @CSHLaboratory

[Bob Graybeard @BSDneuro]

- @MHendr1cks and @sheacshl

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

New at the gift shop! Table salt made from grad student tears. Don't miss this opportunity to taste the @CSHLaboratory legacy.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

We are super excited to congratuale our Dear Leader at @CSHLaboratory for being named NAS member for the 34th time! We will be erecting a commemorative statue of Dear Leader’s #NASmember to celebrate!

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@KyleCottrell @ClementYChow We’ve found over the years that the blunt force of the p1000 seems to outcompete the others. It takes someone very skilled in pipette-jitsu to effectively wield the delicate yet lethal p2.5.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@ClementYChow Here at @CSHLaboratory we have them fight in the courtyard using only a micropipetter and a petri dish. First to go down gets kicked out.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@ClementYChow As a bonus, if one postdoc manages to defeat all the other ones, they become the new PI, and the old PI gets fed to the lobsters.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@ClementYChow Here at @CSHLaboratory we have them fight in the courtyard using only a micropipetter and a petri dish. First to go down gets kicked out.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

I mean, I’d sell my twitter handle for $50K…

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@vferrera No time for praises, or lovey-dovey,
Your PI won’t give you that now.

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

You may find yourself gunning in a shotgun lab, you may find yourself in a university in another part of the world...

[CSH @CSHLaboratory]

@vferrera This ain’t no party, no college lab course. This ain’t no fooling around.