Working in education showed me 1st hand kids desire & flourish under structure once they become used to it. They don't like chaos, they like routines they can trust. That's safety to them.
Perusing the discourse on this and I'm beginning to understand why so many 20-somethings I've worked with in the last decade have been unable to grasp that not everything is up for discussion and that their superior does not always owe them an explanation.
The way you are parented shapes your response to authority. When your experience is that authority always reasons with you, everything becomes a negotiation. Now the hierarchy has broken down and what we have is chaos.
This is not to say you *must* spank your children. But the argument I keep seeing here is that a child too young to be reasoned with is too young to understand why they're being spanked, and that's missing the point. What they "need to understand" is that when an authority says no, they mean no. It's not up for discussion and your choice to ignore that directive will have consequences.
You might be able to teach this lesson with timeouts or other restrictions. But as any seasoned parent will tell you, every child is different. Sometimes spanking (which I also want to point out I separate wholly from physical abuse) is what works. But here's the other thing - if spanking is what works, you don't have to do it but once or twice to teach the lesson. That's how operant conditioning works.
Artificial intelligences do not undergo experiences, do not possess a body, do not feel joy or pain, do not mature through relationships, and do not know from within what love, work, friendship or responsibility mean. Nor do they have a moral conscience, since they do not judge good and evil, grasp the ultimate meaning of situations, or bear responsibility for consequences. They may imitate or even simulate, but they do not understand what they produce, for they lack the affective, relational, and spiritual perspective through which human beings grow in wisdom. #MagnificaHumanitas
Wouldve definitely gave lil homie a plate. I could never turn a kid away who wants food. And I’d ask him if he wanted to learn to grill and if he did,I’d ask his parents if it’s cool if he comes by and helps the next time we grill. Grilling is fellowship. Grilling is community.
Because getting touched by an elder is real trauma. Adults telling a kid/teenager not to dress a certain way, stop smoking, certain music poisons ya soul, adhere to the religions sexual ethics, etc. is not. The ladder group far exceeds the first group who we feel for deeply
The health consciousness stuff has gone massively overboard. People walking around with bands tracking their vital signs every second of the day like they’re astronauts on the ISS. Treating alcohol or sugar like it’ll kill them if they look at it. Tracking their sleep. Counting their steps. It’s possible to live a healthy life without being an obsessive, paranoid lunatic. You’re gonna die either way. In a few decades you’ll be just as dead as the rest of us, if not sooner. Relax a little and live your life while you still can.
One thing about adulthood that way too many people learn way too late (and have no choice but to learn the hard way): you have to be deliberate/proactive about everything. For the first time in your life, you can't be passive participant in anything.
I forget who said it but a post said "buying my 30 year old daughter with 3 kids a mini van has a bigger impact in her life than $300,000 when I am dead" (something like that)
I have never stopped thinking about it and will use that as a compass as my kids get married, have kids, buy houses etc.
If you're a boomer in your 60s and 70s and you own property and are well off but your children are struggling and can't even buy a home, what the hell are you doin?
Your time is over.
It's their time. Help them.
Be a good parent, do whatever it is you need to do... sell the house if you need to, give them some kickbacks to help buy their first home, etc.
Life is short. Be a good parent and don't squat on stuff that doesn't matter.
Give them their time.