Captain Shitpost

I Write Undertale Fanfics And Shitposts. They/them. Beware the skeleton porn (including font, pap and sanscest). I pay taxes

[Fav @Favwontmiss]

I don’t have any problem with ads on free games it’s closing the ad that’s gotten a little ridiculous. It’s not clicking the X anymore you have to click the X watch 5 more seconds click again & get taken to App Store close App Store watch 5 more seconds & click again it’s annoying.

[simple boi: mabele & amabele @Queen_Finxa]

Stan, per Eminem’s creation, was inherently violently obsessive and psychopathic

That’s why words mean things
Being a Stan was never meant to be a compliment because it was always the description of a toxic and parasocially attached human

[トダ @_t0da_]

誰かが「弱い」と言ったポケモンも、きっと「強さ」を持っているはずだ。

[Bee @bee_my_girl]

The "(character) is homophobic?" trend cracks me up because when I was 15 I tried to tell my mom I was lesbian by saying "mom... i don't like guys..." and she said "AMEN!" assuming I was just being misandrist and did an illegal u-turn to get to a tamale shop before I could reply

[Joe @whitelaundryy]

I could never delete reddit

[あさみ @asami3515]

昨日の夜、お風呂前に90回やりました。
お風呂上がりにトイレに駆け込み。多量。速効すぎた。
翌朝も朝一多量。日中外出して先程また…、元々便秘ないのに食べた量より明らかに多く排出されていて怖い。

[heli @helio_trope]

all these BL tops and bottoms immediately bouncing after intense kinky sex with zero aftercare… like dude, no wonder yall keep having crashouts of massive proportions. eat some chocolate and get a hug ffs

[Captain Shitpost @CaptainSh1tpost]

@mrbigchubby1 She is quite feminine in presentation when dressed casually though

[🐠🫧Axel/Clyde🫧🌱 @ClydeIsAFurry]

Would be cool if Latinas and Latios' megas were differently coloured so I can them apart more easily

[Infamous Player 👑🔥 @potato4infamous]

Spider-Man being stupidly stronger than everyone else in these movies will never not make me happy, like at least they got that part right.

[kitty !! @kiittybank]

Ok am i the only one who thought when white people are called crackers they were talking about like biscuits and not whips

[kelvin @kelvinxfqn]

Build a bttm!!😭😀

[Guxtavo🐶🚒🚨 @GgFsSwho]

Lembrando do dia q tava fora com meus pais e o garçom barrou minha cerveja achando q eu era menor de idade, ai quando minha mãe perguntou se isso acontecia muito eu disse "Nem quando eu realmente era menor de idade" e a gente se olhou desse modo

[𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚊 News✨️ @Brenda_viannaf]

O homem que manteve a ex-namorada em cárcere privado, que jogou ácido na boca dela, estuprou, agrediu e a dopou com remédio, foi SOLTO após audiência de custódia.

Ou seja: a mulher fica presa em um abrigo da guarda municipal de Campinas e ele vivendo a vida numa boa.

Justiça.

[Siqi Chen @blader]

my 11 year old is taking a public speaking class

they each had to speak on a random topic

today she got 'dinosaurs'

... and ran out of things to say with 30 seconds left

so she says: "and now please join me in a moment of silence for all those dead dinosaurs"

💀

proud dad

[a҉o҉h҉e҉t҉h҉ @aoheth]

i actually can't fathom how useless isekai trope in any possible setting, literally any media becomes immediately better once you remove 40yo incel protagonist being truck-sama'd into world full of promiscuous elven mages

[ゆでだこのこひな🐙 @37coHiNa]

顔を見るのは敵だけ。

[секс умер🌴 @mafiasexdied]

как удобно в дискурсе про изнасилование называть девочек девушками. какая нахуй девушка в 13 лет? вы совсем что ли ебанутые. зато когда называют 13-16 летних чуваков мужиками у вас ебанатов сразу очко рвет что неееет, они не взрослые, это мальчики!!! хуяльчики блять

[señorita awesome @user7643789327]

they're all valid (the two former if not for bigoted reasons) but they are not comparable. lesbians and bi sapphics are not each other's oppressors on the basis of sexuality. cis people are trans people's oppressors.

[Captain Shitpost @CaptainSh1tpost]

@myapologies389 @astro_v4mp This