Brian H

big big day on the old salami line

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Tony Soprano never had the makings of a varsity athlete

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Shaggy, exhaling bong smoke: you ever feel like too much can happen to a person scoob. Like Too much tragedy. No amount of therapy or medication or self medication can fix it. It’s just like. In your bones man.

Scooby inhaling 13 foot sandwich: Res.

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

4th down, season on the line and Caleb Williams hit the Jordan Jumpman logo in Chicago 🔥

[Ray Kump @RayKump]

Any film is a Christmas film if you sipping lean

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Dear Twitter,

I’ve really taken to calling people babe this week. For better or worse, this is who I am right now.

Love,
Brian

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Barista: And what’s a good name to put on the cup?

Me: The Barista Strangler

[Blake Allen Murphy @blakemurphy7]

Oh they're moving up for Jeanty

[subscribe to the state of the league patreon @JoestarJokic]

the college players are worse at basketball so the basketball is better to watch

[greg @gurreggg]

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Can’t wait to dominate in Madden 79 at the nursing home when the time comes

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Orange you glad I didn’t say Benghazi

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

My son just came home after getting a ton of body modifications. Looks like he got the feathers of a duck, the beak of a duck, the feet of a duck, Honestly this might not be my son

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Just successfully got rid of my hiccups by holding my breath for the first time in my life. Has never worked before. They’ll sing songs of this day.

[Brooks | 🏳️‍🌈 @brookstweetz]

Donald Trump announces Baron Harkonnen will head spice production on the planet of Arrakis

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

The obvious exploitation of the situation for political/social fragmentation aside, I find the phrasing “fatally stabbed by a Good Samaritan” equally humorous and disheartening. That’s my 2 cents here, gang!

[John Strand @JohnStrandUSA]

BREAKING: Suspect attempting to kidnap a small child from their father’s arms in Beverly Hills was then fatally stabbed by a Good Samaritan.

I was two blocks from this when it happened.

Kamala’s America is a very dangerous place.

[Boosie BadAzz @BOOSIEOFFICIAL]

I WAS OUTSIDE THE HOTEL WAITING TO GO TO AIRPORT N A BAND OF PEOPLE JUST CAME AROUND THE CORNER JAMMING N I AS RIGHG N THE MIDDLE OF IT LOL I HAD TO FALL N 🤣🤣

[Who's Next @WhosNextShow]

Pinstripe Gucci my pants

[Brian H @CarmlizedFunyun]

Hey siri, ubereats zyn