Ever felt like paralyzing fear is holding you back from achieving your dreams? I know I have, but it doesn't have to stay that way.
For most of my life, I was running from fear, fighting fear, and hiding from fear. Sound familiar?
But then, I got fed up. I was tired of running, hiding, and fighting.
I decided to confront fear, but instead of fighting, I stopped and listened to what my fear was trying to tell me.
That's when I realized something powerful: fear can actually be your friend.
Fear is there to help, to tell you what could harm you, it's a survival tool.
My first day of kindergarten was terrifying. I didnโt understand English and felt completely alone.
Fear motivated me to look for anyone who could help me.
In that sea of solitude, I saw a friendly smile on my teacherโs face.
A comforting hug showed me that support can come from unexpected places.
By my senior year of high school, I had straight D's and F's and had failed several classes.
I was scared of not graduating. I needed to pass every class in order to get my high-school diploma.
The fear of disappointing my grandma made me focus on my schoolwork.
That year, for the first time in my life, I got straight A's and graduated.
In my professional life, fear kept me from achieving the level of success I wanted.
I would get nervous before speaking with customers and business partners.
I was terrified to present in front of co-workers and business leaders. But then I decided to confront the fear.
I started speaking in public, joined Toastmasters, and hired a speaking coach to help me along the way.
After facing my fear consistently week after week for years, and practicing my craft, I now teach workshops on how to overcome your fear of public speaking.
None of this was possible for me until I confronted my fear directly and listened to it. Behind that fear was a desire to speak and be heard.
Do you want to become friends with fear? Do this!
Practical Steps to Befriend Fear:
Identify Your Fear: Take a moment right now. What is it that scares you? Write it down.
Understand Your Fear: Why does this fear exist? What is it trying to protect you from?
Confront Your Fear: Think of small steps you can take to face this fear. Just like I did with Toastmasters, find a way to expose yourself to the fear in a safe environment.
Reflect on Wins: Celebrate small victories. Find early wins to fuel your confidence and keep you going.
Visualize Success: Close your eyes. Picture yourself overcoming this fear. Feel the excitement of success.
Take five minutes today. Write down one fear.
Break it into small steps you can take to face it. Commit to one action this week.
By befriending fear and understanding its role, you can harness its power to drive you forward.
Fear can be your guide, not your enemy.
I recently spoke about this on Pam Slim's podcast, The Widest Net.
If you want to hear more about my journey and get inspired, check out the episode here:
https://t.co/v5r06jJFAC
TEMPUS REDUX
But this is not a rerun โ it's a resurrection.
1:50 min of graphite surrealism in motion and sound.
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An email from Coach Sommer I revisit often:
Hi Tim,
Patience. Far too soon to expect strength improvements. Strength improvements [for a movement like this] take a minimum of 6 weeks. Any perceived improvements prior to that are simply the result of improved synaptic facilitation. In plain English, the central nervous system simply became more efficient at that particular movement with practice. This is, however, not to be confused with actual strength gains.
Dealing with the temporary frustration of not making progress is an integral part of the path towards excellence. In fact, it is essential and something that every single elite athlete has had to learn to deal with. If the pursuit of excellence was easy, everyone would do it.
In fact, this impatience in dealing with frustration is the primary reason that most people fail to achieve their goals. Unreasonable expectations timewise, resulting in unnecessary frustration, due to a perceived feeling of failure. Achieving the extraordinary is not a linear process.
The secret is to show up, do the work, and go home.
A blue collar work ethic married to indomitable will. It is literally that simple. Nothing interferes. Nothing can sway you from your purpose. Once the decision is made, simply refuse to budge. Refuse to compromise.
And accept that quality long-term results require quality long-term focus. No emotion. No drama. No beating yourself up over small bumps in the road. Learn to enjoy and appreciate the process. This is especially important because you are going to spend far more time on the actual journey than with those all too brief moments of triumph at the end.
Certainly celebrate the moments of triumph when they occur. More importantly, learn from defeats when they happen. In fact, if you are not encountering defeat on a fairly regular basis, you are not trying hard enough. And absolutely refuse to accept less than your best.
Throw out a timeline. It will take what it takes.
If the commitment is to a long-term goal and not to a series of smaller intermediate goals, then only one decision needs to be made and adhered to. Clear, simple, straightforward. Much easier to maintain than having to make small decision after small decision to stay the course when dealing with each step along the way. This provides far too many opportunities to inadvertently drift from your chosen goal. The single decision is one of the most powerful tools in the toolbox.
Iโm a Dad of 3 boys (14, 12, 5) and we are all enjoying Echoes of Wisdom tremendously.
So far, my 5 year old has played the game the most, heโs been able to overcome most obstacles with help from his older brothers.
Whatโs worked about the game design: Not having a sword as a primary weapon makes us think of unique ways to solve problems.
Maybe we want to send a swarm of bats to attack that mummy. Or maybe we wan to use a spider web to climb over them and avoid them all together.
This game doesnโt default to killing everything and encourages problem solving.