Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle

Retired US Marine Corps 🇺🇸 | THE Ohio State ΣΑΕ ’82 | 3x Divorced | Busch Light Connoisseur | Former Little League Legend | Still got it!

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Kickoff. Made it down to the pub. Told Tammy I’d only have two. Haven’t lied to that woman in 22 years. Felt good. #MNF #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 Free agent means I can drink where I want and sleep where I fall, Terry. Bring that grocery money and meet me at the pub. #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Hour till kickoff. Might meet the boys down at the local pub. Tammy said “don’t come home drunk.” Good thing she changed the locks in ’04. Falcons by 10. #RiseUp

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 Easy Terry. Tammy may have put me on waivers but at least I didn’t put the grocery money on the damn Falcons. See you at the pub, first Busch is on me since apparently you’re broke. #riseup #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 Waffle House called. Said if the Falcons lose I’m legally not allowed within 500 feet of a griddle. Lot on the line tonight. #RiseUp

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 Tammy got the house, Terry. I got the La-Z-Boy, NFL Sunday Ticket and nobody bitching when the Busch fridge needs restocking. She got the mortgage. I got my Sundays back. You tell me who won. #freedom #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Tammy asked me to keep the kids tonight. Told her I already made plans. I’ve missed enough Monday Night Football raising ’em. Falcons-Saints, frozen pizza and 14 cold Busch. Fatherhood’s about setting boundaries. Chester’s taking his life back. #MNF #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 $14.37 on the Falcons. That ain’t gambling Terry, that’s investing in your family’s future. Groceries come and go. Winners last forever. Hell Terry, the kids can eat tomorrow. Falcons by 30. That’s called having conviction. #gaf #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@SamBrooks60 Sam you had me at $3 Busch pitchers. Tammy and I ain’t exactly on speaking terms but for that price I’ll see what I can arrange. Save me a stool.

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@CFBReport Don’t care who’s #1. Ohio State’s #3 and ❌ichigan’s been reported missing. Go Bucks! #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Panthers got it done. Might put premium in the ’03 Monte Carlo tomorrow.

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

UPDATE: Mike Yastrzemski lays down a beautiful sac bunt and I start preaching about good baseball. Acuña comes up 30 seconds later and grounds into a double play. This is why I drink Busch and don’t trust happiness.

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Mike Yastrzemski just laid down a sac bunt. Damn near brought a tear to my eye. No launch angle bullshit, just move the man 90 feet. That’s baseball. Let’s see if they can put the game away!

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@Terrytugsalot33 Welcome aboard Terry. Three ex-wives and a beef with Auburn? You’ll fit in just fine around here brother. Any man blocked by three women and an entire sheriff’s department is a man I’ll have a Busch with. Welcome aboard. #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@BobHeffley74 Hell yeah Bob. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. That’s old-school living right there.

-chest #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

UPDATE: Carolina’s kicker finally made an extra point. Attaboy son. Only took three tries to do the job they hired your ass to do. #stillgotit #gamesnotover #scarysundayissettingin

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

Carolina’s kicker Missed two PATs. Back in my day you did your job or somebody else damn sure would. Another miss and I’m driving to Charlotte myself. Haven’t kicked since ’81 but I still got my work ethic. #stillgotit

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@jack_mehoff76 Calling this “primal” while drinking something called Lyte BodyArmor is why we lost the Roman Empire.

[Chester “Chokesalot” McGurgle @ChesterMcGurg82]

@edward1mcdonald Jesus Christ Edward. Completely unacceptable thing to say. That being said, 18 catches is 18 catches.