Chris

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Give them whatever’s the opposite of the Nobel Prize

[Houston Stressans @TexansCommenter]

Yeah drugs are cool and all but have you tried being a Houston Texans fan?

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

All of us today…

[basith @basithladoo]

to do list:
bite the hand that feeds me
put all my eggs in one basket
kill two birds with one stone
let the cat out of the bag
think inside the box
burn bridges
walk on thin ice
play with fire

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

LeBron’s opening line being…”First of all, happy…happy International Women’s Day” cracks me up EVERY time 😂😂

[selinam @bennynotblanco]

Lol my mom had a trick that was undefeated! She would stand in front of me with a belt in her hand.

[mau @rllydu]

wait… if you’re circling back and i’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation??

[claudia ☆ @4ui12i124u]

the love of ur life is latina and insane

[✳️Ⓐ Armed Joy 🔫💣 @ArmedJ0y]

If you notice a foreign tourist in a Waffle House it is your American duty to start a fist fight to ensure they get the full experience.

[ShaneSaw M̷a̷s̷s̷a̷c̷r̷e̷ @FinalDude78]

this is what it feels like when your joke bangs in the gc

[greg @greg16676935420]

Never a dull moment on this app

[July @Mpikanisi__]

Start with a girlfriend who loves you, she will tell you exactly what to buy.