city hall

NYC-based comedy group. Sketch comedy, using music, dance, and puppetry to answer adult questions.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

Netflix and Chill the fuck out and let me watch my stories. #shutyourmouf

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

Can we still call things “lame” or is that retarded?

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@TheZoeShow Living the dream! You?

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@JWCrump @kevinlaibson I’ve been saying this for years!

Yes. You are the same. BUT...

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@kevinlaibson I believe @daddydoubts has a story about meeting Santa Claus that might help coin a term for that feeling.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@ilianainocencio @AmeliaBethB I know I am.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

I’ve had my share of @Uber mishaps over the years, but they’ve always made it right. Frank doesn’t deserve this. As a near-daily Uber rider, I ask you to ol ease reach out to him @Uber_Support

[Frank Todaro @FrankTodaroVO]

@Uber @Uber_Support I was scammed out of $297 yesterday by one of your drivers with an obviously fake profile and was basically told to "deal with it" by your customer support. I re-explained to no avail. I've been told tweeting is the only thing you respond to. Please advise.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@drozphallic Sorry Michelle, but what is NOT amazing about a flying nun?!

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@stickyisaslut 😘

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

You got it.

[Oscar the Grouch @OscarTheGrouch]

I made a wish.

I wish you'd go away!

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@kevinlaibson

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

Hey Simon, please tell Simon I miss him.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@kevinlaibson @Delta See my previous tweet.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@daddydoubts That’s called “self-love”.

. . .I think.

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

But somehow, when I “say” it, it’s called “assault”.

[John Cena @SohnCena]

900 amazing followers! I asked my son how I could thank you:

He babbled some nonsense, got frustrated, smacked himself in the head, got embarrassed, started crying, refused comfort, threw a cookie, then melted down when he lost the cookie.

That’s how toddlers say I love you.

[L E F T, PhD ⚫️ @LeftSentThis]

Kareem Abdul Jabber WAS NOT here for the bullsh*t. Homie elbowed him in the stomach, and Kareem calmly catches his breath, and then...💥

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

“When life gives you floor eggs, make a floor omelette.”
-Jacques Pépin

[John Cena @SohnCena]

You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs.

You also can’t make an omelette if a toddler has opened the fridge taken out all the eggs and smashed them on the kitchen floor.

My point is now I have no breakfast.

#dadlife #parenting

[Kareem Abdul-Jabbar @kaj33]

Just wanna give a shout out of thanks to my girl @LyndsayFaye who in her own right is a fantastic author for such a great interview on my new book Mycroft and Sherlock

https://t.co/61WPfNLIyw

[Julia Darden @JuziDarden]

Phrase I casually said at work today: “man, I can’t wait for him to fur my yeti.” #notaeuphemism #puppeteerproblems

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

@realdirtjane Here’s hoping your O-negative!

[city hall @CityHallComedy]

I. LOVE. this series.