CofC Pulpit

My church attendance record is as spotless as our baptismal robes. I see all of you, even moreso now that most of you don't use the hymnal anymore.

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofc_projector @cofc_projector What good is polishing me when I've been stuck in a storage closet for the last year? #ButI'mNotBitter

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofc_projector it's like they don't realize that when they go home after service, WE'RE the ones left to face drivers' eye rolling & scorn

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

Oh boy... @cofcpreacha is in Leviticus today. Gonna be one of those days.

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofc_projector @cofcyouthgroup nor does the verse in Get Right Church go "Back back train, get off my toe!"

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofc_projector yeah, no surprise really, she was already nodding off by the time @cofcpreacha finished

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

Sister Ethel, bless her heart, is still sitting here holding a communion tray, patiently waiting for it to be picked up. #ReplacementServers

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@CofCDeacon we still need to get to lunch. No need to mention each response, one cover-all prayer will suffice. Lets go to work men.

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

...@CofCpew stretch out and be ready for some abuse, @cofc_projector avoid all shades of red in background colors...

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

... @CofCSongLeader have a few extra refrains of On Bended Knee ready...wait, bad idea, Just As I Am should work...

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

...@cofcpreacha expect Razorback fans to flood the pulpit area responding to the invitation, @cofcelder be ready to back up...

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

Ok men, gotta be ready for the no-huddle tomorrow morning... @cofcpreacha @cofcelder @CofCpew @CofCSongLeader @CofCDeacon @cofc_projector

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofc_projector looks like someone played Passover, but instead of hiding the afikoman, they hid a pimento cheese sandwich...in my cabinet

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

I expect to see the couple who played Bob Marley in their wedding yesterday respond to the invitation this morning. #AcappellaFolks,ComeOn

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

...bet that cheapskate @CofCDeacon was behind this...

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

HEY!! Who replaced my trusty tape recorder? And what kind of generic, cheapo brand is "Wireless Router"?! Doesn't even have a tape deck.

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@CofCSongLeader maybe Our God is an Awesome God? #CofC'sWeWillRockYou

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

The line on today's sermon and Arkansas/ULM game mentions 2.5. I'm taking the over.

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

Uuuuuuuugh! That's it. No more mixing bingo and the out-of-date Welch's grape juice supply. #CofChangover @cofc_projector @CofCpew

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@cofcelder I found your mom in there! #Delilah @cofcpew @cofc_projector

[CofC Pulpit @CofCPulpit]

@CofCpew @cofc_projector @cofcym #InTheWorld,NotOfTheWorld has got to be the perfect defense I would think