Colton Lazars

Writer. Unfashionably rational.
Author of the novel Thirty Things To Do After You Die.
#ThirtyThingsToDoAfterYouDie

[Colton Lazars @ColtonLazars]

Why is there no afterlife fiction for atheists? I mean you don't need to believe in magic to love Harry Potter.
Well, now there is.
Thirty Things To Do After You Die by Colton Lazars
https://t.co/ayjSp3pkn3
#ThirtyThingsToDoAfterYouDie #FantasyFiction

[steve @bagshaw2112]

#darts was the first sport to introduce #hydrationbreaks 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Luke LRPS @LukeLRPS]

This bill is a hellscape.
It’s worse than most realise.
Private prosecution for criminal offences is the bringing of end for Rule Of Law.

[Sam Morgan @CrunchAlias]

I'm pretty sure flat-earthers created gender ideology to make themselves seem more rational.

[Rosie Duffield MP @RosieDuffield1]

Funny. But many of us live with active credible threats against us,work 7 days a wk,and do our abs best in a job where every single person thinks their campaign is the most urgent issue. In a democracy, anyone who thinks we're all 'c***s' is welcome to stand and try to be better.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

You mean men, men who claim to be women. You are a national broadcaster that consistently obfuscates facts around sex because you’ve taken an ideological position the public overwhelmingly rejects. This isn’t news, it’s propaganda.

[Rebel Ada @DearRebelAda]

We are all Julia Hartley-Brewer:

HW: “People like you shouldn’t get too involved in medicine, because of the harm you cause”.

JHB: “People like you, and I mean this very respectfully, should be in prison. Genuinely”.

[Michael Reiners @MCRReiners]

‘Manchesterism’, a decidedly undefined term, can be best explained by this clip.

Most things can be best explained by a clip from Yes Minister.

[Sall Grover @salltweets]

Thank you to all of the amazing UK women & men who made this past week so brilliant. TERF Island has long been more supportive of me & all Australian women than our own country, I’m so grateful for the endless support.

A special thank you to @bindelj who went above & beyond for a truly unforgettable experience. Also @hartleythinking for the House of Lords!

Now, I have to get back home to an almost-4 year old, who I miss more than words can say.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🩷🇬🇧🇦🇺

Oh and men cannot be women.

[Eric Idle @EricIdle]

The Winner of the Fifa Peace Prize?

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

There's been some debate over my gender recently, but I'm afraid I am not yet prepared to disclose it

I regard it as a private matter, not something I want discussed in the media

My wife is supporting me at this difficult time, and would prefer to keep hers secret too

But I am now prepared to reveal that I am a cis Bristol City supporter

[Buzz Patterson @BuzzPatterson]

Perhaps the video that best explains the World Cup. A Japanese fan is inconsolable after their 2-1 loss to Brazil in extra time.

Brazil fans console him and Mexican fans toss him into the air.

The World Cup 2026.❤️⚽️

[Naomi Cunningham @LoudBonnet]

Two and a half. This unfortunate little boy was "socially transitioned" by his parents before he was three years old, and is now profoundly damaged, and terrified of being "outed" as the boy he is.

This is child abuse. It must stop.

[Sall Grover @salltweets]

“I’m often asked if I regret taking this stance, giving up years of my life, having to raise and spend millions of dollars in legal fees, called a bigot… wouldn’t it have been easier to pay him $20,000, let him into the app & just accept that the word woman has evolved? No.”

[Helen Joyce @HJoyceGender]

I'd like to see everyone who had anything to do with this expected to chip in pay the costs

[Tancredi Palmeri @tancredipalmeri]

Only Congo fan in the mid of gigantic Colombian fans sea is singing his anthem.

Colombian fans respectfully stay quiet and at the end celebrates with him.

This makes you feel better and better as more as you watch it

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

It’s the 10th anniversary of Brexit. Let’s have a look at how that’s going:

1974-2016: 7 prime ministers
2016-2026: 7 prime ministers

I said it then. I’ll say it again.
It’s a shitshow.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Another Father's Day, another nail gun from Jesus. He just will NOT let it go.

[Colton Lazars @ColtonLazars]

@setswithinsetss @DorothyEubank16 It's a little early for pantomime season, but what the hell ...

No, you are in the image.

[Ernest-001⚓⚓ @Ernest1588761]

50/50 😁