C O M E D Y

------ Lol .

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

That awkward moment when someone is crying and you're trying your hardest not to laugh.

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

I like how the Ninja Turtles wear masks. Good way to hide your identity, it’s not like you’re a giant turtle or anything..

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

Twitter: the only place where you get excited when stranger follows you.

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

🍁Wiz = WEED
🎶Jcole = life struggles
♿Drake = relationships💏 👫
⛄Young jeezy = the hood 🏢💊🔫
👽Lil wanye = random Fuckery
LOL

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

Don't play with a women's heart. She only has one. Play with her boobs, she has two

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

My GPA needs to be looking like these gas prices.

[Retweet Dares ! @ThaTwitDares]

The Hoe Down Below , Has A Camel Toe . 🐫

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

Girl: Baby Take Me Some Where Expensive! Boy: Okay *Pulls Into Gas Station* Girl: WHY WE STOP HERE!! Boy: BITCH! You See Those Prices!

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

My daughter told me that she likes to play with herself in her room. I need to find her some more friends!

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

I hate people who say age is just a number.... Age is clearly a word.

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

My son said he was looking for "big booty"...I think its cute how he still pretends to be a pirate!

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

ELEPHANT: "Why do you have boobs on your back?" CAMEL: "Thats a stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face."

[C O M E D Y @ComedyKing__]

Rule of math: If it seems easy, your doing it wrong.

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

I think my son wants to be a pilot he's always talking about getting high.

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

I heard my son's girlfriend screaming "Oh God!" in his bedroom upstairs ... Im so glad he found a good religious girl.

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

My daughter is so studious, anytime a boy is over, all I hear from her room is "HARDER! HARDER!" wow, they must be studying REALLY hard!

[Retarded Mom @RetardeddMom]

My daughter is such a religious girl, she might become a Nun because when her boyfriend is here all I hear from her room is: "OH GOD!"