Conor Carmody

Out of darkness cometh light.

#WWFC

[Conor Carmody @Conorcarmody]

@leocruzrdz Will Dm you

[Weaverowl 🦉🇬🇮 @swfc_98]

Oh. My. God. I cannot believe this game is finally happening.

#ntfc #SaintsFC

[chris @chriisorourke]

rather unfortunate shortening of the title and author on the self service checkout

[Chris @CWeatherspoon_]

It is the year 2037. We have all signed for Chelsea

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

I always thought that people hated pineapple on pizza because it's spicy until I learned that pineapple is not spicy to most people and I am in fact allergic to pineapple.

[Reni♧ @wheezywya]

insert a sim card.

[Prab @Prab188]

Gatwick Airport's terrified

[Mark Lewis, MD, FASCO @marklewismd]

Honestly don't know how to earn that 5th star

[bear @wriocake]

this is humiliating

[greg @gurreggg]

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

"You promise you didn't get me bees again"
[me from a distance] just open it

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

thinking about having some type 3 fun tonight

[Lil Kimchi @victorialiciax]

Due to inflation, it’s now either Drum OR Bass.

[tate @50FirstTates]

me: *nervously approaching printer* h-hey there little guy.. kinda in a rush to print something

my printer: *territorial printer noises*

[Brandon the Cow @Brampersandon_]

PREACHER: any prayer requests?

3 DUCKS IN A TRENCHCOAT (from the last pew): do the one about our daily bread

[Will @WillM_20]

Really hope his middle name is What

[eve ☆ IS MEETING DNP @InternetIsQueer]

one time a girl told me "my celebrity crush is george michael, which sucks because he's gay AND dead" to which i replied "double whammy" and i genuinely think i will never be that funny again