Corey Mintz

Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. ~Joss Whedon, director of Avengers

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

@ClyburnComedy https://t.co/uUU15Dv7dE

[Dave Landau @LandauDave]

Back before I got sober I dated a meth-head. All she ever wanted for Christmas was her 2 front teeth...and all the other ones.

[Dave Landau @LandauDave]

My friend dated a girl who had multiple personality disorder. Unfortunately all of them had herpes.

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

If I'm the smartest guy in the room, then I'm in the wrong room.

~Chad Stahelski
(director John Wick)

[JoBlo.com @joblocom]

@carnojoe

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

Listening to my 14-yro niece explain words like "lit"and "shook" to my mom about the 8th grade dance is about the whitest thing I've seen

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

One poz of going from 225lbs down to 175 in 2016?

Skinny jeans. The poz of skinny jeans? Ballsack. You want ballsack? Rock skinny jeans

[Tom Tebow @IamEvilTebow]

Watching the Pro Bowl makes my dick soft.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

J.K. Rowling has revealed that before wizards used modern plumbing, they just pooped where they stood and used magic to get rid of it.

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

Hhfffhhfhgagaçbfbfvvxc https://t.co/hnwNrPGRAY

[Tom Tebow @IamEvilTebow]

When life gives you lemons...Smoke crack!

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Matthew McConaughey's dad died while having sex with his mom—she insisted that he be carried out of the house naked to show off his manhood.

[chaddaniels @thatchaddaniels]

Little more marching, little less selfies. We get it. You're the best.

[DJ Dangler @DJDangler]

I'll be @LaughsTVShow tonight, looking Reeeaaaaal handsome

[Jesus H Christ! @ThatBloke_Jesus]

Of course you're entitled to your opinion but it's wrong and you're an idiot

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

@carnojoe on this POS when you're one of my top 5 filmmakers. I'd just love to see more classics before I go (2/2)

[Corey Mintz @CoreyMintzComic]

@carnojoe As someone with cancer and maybe your biggest fan, I can say you'll look back and realize you've wasted huge amounts of time (1/2)