Larry Ryals

Contributed to @denverpost, Points in Case, and Slackjaw. Humor wrter. Taco depository. Idiot.

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

1/ signs ur home has been invaded by martians

u dont recall significant other having metallic skin or this many tentacles before

cherry crystal light in fridge replaced w/ liquid oxygen

children dead and covered w/ heinz 57 sauce

thermostat set to -279 degrees Celsius ....

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

Allison Gates SNL
head writer

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

Allison Gates SNL head writer

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

Allison Gates SNL head writer

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

Happy Seis de Mayo! To celebrate I ate 600,000 jars of Kraft mayonnaise!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@PaulSchissler @heyitsopus @saraschaefer1

I haven't been on X in quite some time, but I thought y'all might enjoy looking at these. 🙂

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

Hey y'all! Please check out my funny shirts. They're fun, edgy and reasonably priced. Thanks!

https://t.co/G0KrWEZj1m

[Ricky Glore @RickyGlore]

SUPPORT #indie

2 features in 1 calendar year

A “Rockford Files-esque” whodunnit for 7k & a high school coming of age for 40k

https://t.co/skfCcOrU5x

#indiefilm #northernkentucky #cincinnati #independentfilm #indiefilmmaking #comedy #indiecomedyfilm #snl #nkyfilms

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@ColinJost Hi Colin. I'm a writer and I have a contact named Dan who submitted 3 sketches to your show. One of them is a Letterman parody I think you would be brilliant in. Can you tell me if my sketches were received? If you can follow me so I can message you that would be great. Thanks!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@CollegeHumor @brennanlm Hi. Your videos are hilarious.I left another comment, but you may not have seen it. I'm a writer and I was wondering if you can let me know how to contact your editorial team. Thanks!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@CollegeHumor @brennanlm Hi. I love your videos. They're hilarious. I'm a comedy writer, and I'd like to submit video scripts to you on spec. Can you message me or text me at 806 640 8156? Thanks!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@Ke7inBurke Hi Kevin. I'm a comedy writer too, so I followed your account. It's really cool that you write headlines for the Onion. Could you give me some info on how I can contact them to submit headlines on a spec basis? That would be so cool. You can follow me if you want. 🙂

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@MozesZarate @SacNewsReview Hi. I'm a humor writer interested in contributing to your paper. I think you would enjoy my material. Can you follow me back so I can message you? Thanks!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@amy_hollyfield OMG, lol. I love this! 😁

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@amy_hollyfield People living on Mercury: 😭😭😭😭.

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@heyitsopus Lol, cool! Hope you're doing well, Opus. I sent you a message on FB Messenger you might want to look at. Sorry I haven't been interacting with you on here. I very rarely logon to X anymore.

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@nbcsnl @marcellohdz Hi, I'm a comedy writer with contributions to The Denver Post and several humor sites. I'd like to send sample sketches to Colin Jost or another writer/producer if possible. Can you help me with info? Thanks so much!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@TTrueman Thanks, Terry! Sorry for delayed response.

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@ColinJost Lol!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@ColinJost Lol, congrats!

[Larry Ryals @CowApocalypse]

@samreich @caldy @kianamaiart @AtNathanYaffe @GrantOB @LilyD PETA: "I swear to god, if any canaries were harmed in the making of this post.... 😭😭😭"