Cunda

Self made millionaire, Entrepreneur, philanthropist. I like cheezels

[Cunda @Cunda22]

I have sex the same way I play video games, I just press all the buttons and hope like shit it's a special move or something.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

They say genius is sometimes the simple things, so now I understand why women are so complicated.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

If boobs are measured in cup sizes then how many boobs are there in a standard drink?

[Fickle Filly @Fickle_Filly]

There are some people you only meet once in a lifetime and that’s more than enough.

[tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

Fuck a vegan. They need some meat.

[Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt]

Accidentally burped into my inflatable girlfriend while blowing her up and now she has BO.

[Lovely Potatoes @robin_991]

Welcome to your 40’s.
Everything jiggles.

[Teewee @Chloestylo]

I'm not really judgmental, unless you're stupid..

[Disdain @IsaacDisdain]

I’m finding it more and more difficult to tell the difference between a vegan and a heroin addict.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

I've never met a duck who played soccer before, but I reckon that'd really quack me up.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

It's a perfect night to find a secret passageway behind a bookshelf & go fuck yourself.

[bubble girl @JessObsess]

If you don't teabag all of your friends when you're drunk, you don't even deserve to have testicles.

[tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

If you cry in your soup you'll have more soup.

[tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

A coffin is just a hammock with a lid.

[Stubaby @Floatersfinest]

My life is broken. I’ve tried complaining to the manufacturers but they’ve retired. I’m pretty sure the architect is a figment of imagination. So I’m reduced to turning to you lot for advice

So yeah, I’m pretty fucked

[Cunda @Cunda22]

To be honest, I really love you guys. I don’t even care if you’re all fat.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

Everybody’s a fuckface if you’ve had enough to drink.

[Cunda @Cunda22]

Women are kinda like garbage bins cause they're only good for sticking your junk in them & you really only need to take them out once a week.

[~Cindy~🇨🇦 @CindyNoPants]

Did you guys know if you sneak into the woods with a chainsaw, dressed as a clown to cut your own Christmas tree, no one will stop you.