Darren Maxfield

Billionaire playboy philanthropist (wannabe)

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@fox13 Disturbingly, this is normal in Syracuse. The water often stinks as well…

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@UTHighwayPatrol Any word on when we will be able to get off I80?

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

If you get furious at looters during a riot but feel zilch about massive financial fraud during a pandemic, then maybe your real issue isn't the stealing.

[Steve Schmidt @SteveSchmidtSES]

“Removing @SenMikeLee from power is an imperative for Utah & the US. Wanting to kill your political opponents isn’t normal in America, but it’s a lot more normal than it used to be thanks to the extremism of the profoundly unfit Lee. Vote @EvanMcMullin.”

https://t.co/dc3hyFzCgT

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@RideUTA So not really “required” despite that wording on signs and announcements… That’s discouraging. With only half the riders this morning wearing masks, I may have to go back to driving, as I can’t afford to get sick.

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Is there anything @RideUTA can do about the selfish pricks who endanger us because they’re above the posted rules? #transitcops #citations #KickThemOff

[The Killers @thekillers]

We are supporting #WeMakeEvents and calling on the UK Government to protect the live music industry during these hard times. Please join us at https://t.co/h61hE8wN3D @WeMakeEventsoff

[Foo Fighters @foofighters]

.@WeMakeEvents_NA are going RED for the
12 million people out of work due to COVID-19. Help save the live events industry & check out https://t.co/Lt9bzyAzIS for an easy form that contacts YOUR members of Congress & urges them to pass the RESTART Act & extend PUA and FPUC.

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@RideUTA Will there be another train to take over at north temple?

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@RideUTA We were pushing the button before the chime started, before it started moving.

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

You know it’s going to be that kind of day when four of us are on the platform pushing the door open button, and the train host is pushing the button inside, but @RideUTA #frontrunner starts chiming and rolls out. Sorry inversion, looks I’ll be driving...

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

@RideUTA Clearfield at 7:55. I checked my phone as it pulled away, it was 7:55, but 30 seconds to let us on would’ve still departed on time.

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Want a hilarious evening of adventure? Come decide what the actors will do, and see if you can guide them safely through the dangers lurking! https://t.co/P5saUa152b

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Last call! They're closing us out early. If your in the neighborhood you've got 15 minutes to say hi!

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Love my #henna #dragon from #Meemer'sWorld at tha #CenterpointTheatre #FairytaleFestival

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

https://t.co/KjFYVTK7po Come check out this fun festival, and visit @meemur at her booth! Lots of fun art, jewelry, henna & more!

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Potion necklaces and fairy mummies at the Centerpoint theatre fairytale festival. Here until 7pm. Stop by & say hi!

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Geeky paintings, potion necklaces, hair bows & swords @ Centerpoint Theatre's #FairytaleFestival. Open til 7pm.

[Darren Maxfield @DAM_Productions]

Another beautiful night at #SmithsBallpark for #SLBees baseball. But 3 straight outs with the bases loaded is bad!