Daisy

I used to read and run; now I babysit my kids. Cult of Zee. link to my tweets:

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

My kid really woke up today and chose *violence.

*to talk nonstop.

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

In the pursuit of social entertainment, my 3 yo has kindly invited her friend over to see her bag of frozen corn.

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

@poliscialex

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

Hello. Young kids back in school are so sick right now. Everyone with a preschooler has an entire household of sleepless viral cough snot fevers for the past two months without a fucking break. So if you know a parent going through this, be kind and gently hit them with your car.

[Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish]

Decided to liven up the scrambled eggs this morning by adding a little spinach. Follow me for more tips on how to ruin an 8yo’s life.

[emily may @emilykmay]

Can someone explain why the hell every single place for children opens at 10 or even 11 am??? Like I have been up since 5:15. I have lived five lives and made two meals by TEN AM.

[Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad]

I like to lead into stories I tell my wife with “here’s something you’ll find vaguely interesting” just so she knows she’s getting my best stories

[Luke ☀️ @RaDadtouille]

Found the mail key. #toddlers

[Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil]

"it's just like riding a bicycle"

Oh cool the one vehicle I've crashed the most

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

Watching someone you thought you knew fall apart, muttering, shouting at nothing. But it’s my husband watching football.

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

@BCE684

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

Reminder that today is Make Your Kid Lunch for School so They Can Forget it at Home Day.

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

@dadmann_walking

[Daisy @Daisyldoo]

Watching Toy Story 3 and I’ve realized all the baby dolls in my house look just like Big Baby.

[DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet]

Damn fine indeed! Glorious! @Daisyldoo picked you, @idontspeakwhine. Great choice! https://t.co/7HkAKeszoF

[KJ @IDontSpeakWhine]

Welcome to parenthood, you will now spend most of your day yelling up the stairs to your kids

[KJ @IDontSpeakWhine]

"I married the man of my dreams" I whisper to myself as I shave his back for the 3rd time this month

[KJ @IDontSpeakWhine]

Watched my teens play an epic game of "Don't let the balloon touch the floor", which ironically should've been called "Break a lamp, knock a picture off the wall and give yourself a concussion while diving for a balloon"

[KJ @IDontSpeakWhine]

The gap in my resume...oh well, I've been a therapist, a driver, a cook, a maid, a loan officer and a tailor to name a few things, but you can just write "parenting" if there's no space left