Dan Lippert Sucks

Dan Lippert sucks.

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Trust me, I still suck."- @danlippert

[MCCOY @BiPolar_Bby]

I always wait til the lst min 2do my wrk...bt it always wrk out cuz I tend 2 put mre thought in it instead of the simple ish.

[✨ @I_DelGracia]

A Positive Personality Is Wat Makes Yuu A Women

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Aw man! I haven't been on here in forever! I couldn't remember if my password was 'big cocks' or 'huge cock.'"
@danlippert fucking up again

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Guys, I'm in the 50% of people who get smelly pee from asparagus!"
@danlippert coming as close as he'll ever get to being in a club

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful and all, but she was no Laura Dern."
@danlippert delivering an awful eulogy #RIP Elizabeth Taylor

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Oh, I got one! 'The Smalll Mac.'"
@danlippert #failedmcdonaldsproducts #failedattrendparticipation

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"I'm reading a new book, uh, "something with Einstein" by Jonathan Safran Foer? I think."
@danlippert discussing a bestseller #illiterate

[Devo Dollaz @DevinJamaal_]

@manigorgeous21 where u work at? Ima convict don't nobody wanna hire me.. Lemme work for u, I can wash ppl hair and clean up extra hair lol

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"So, Spring, 'in like a lion' it is."
@danlippert unaware of the indifference of nature

[fka Hi Ho Silver Oh @hihosilveroh]

@danlippert hooked us up with a good sleep place in Tucson last night. What a nice guy. @danlippertsucks #danlippertisanidiot

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"I want to body-swap w/ @drewtarver so I could play w/ my Drew hair. I wonder what he'd do w/ his Dan hair!"@danlippert #losingfriends

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Muammar Gaddafi: Winning! Ow! Come on! I was gonna say 'NOT!'"
@danlippert getting slapped by a Libyan-American during a badly timed joke

[Devo Dollaz @DevinJamaal_]

U talkn bout me???

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Peanut butter pretzels!?!"
@danlippert #winning

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Who are you and why are you here?"
@danlippert #questionsihate

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Why say 'nut' after the name of a nut, like 'cashew nut?' Isn't just 'cashew' OK?"
@danlippert boring the shit out of a nut salesman

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"I forgot you could make a straw out of Red Vines until like, 10 seconds ago! Boy, am I glad I remembered!"
@danlippert making his own day

[Dan Lippert Sucks @DanLippertSucks]

"Banksy made street art something I'm not afraid of. For now."
@danlippert standing in a puddle of his own piss