Paul Lanier

Polka King of the Midwest

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

One time when I was like 11 my dad took me to an Italian restaurant and the waiter asked what my name was and I said “Sam but you can call me captain ravioli” and my dad just looked at me and said “what the fuck was that? don’t do that” and I’ve been chasing that high ever since.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@cenglandtweet @JamieRighetti God I love this

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@wale_bazee_247 I hope this is the Percocet talking.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@BArmstrong13 Lol dammit

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@BArmstrong13 Lol hell yeah deed!

[Wolf Blitzer @wolfblitzer]

Check out this exchange I had with then private citizen @realDonaldTrump on Oct. 15, 2008. We spoke about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and he then offered his thoughts about impeachment.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@longwall26 They do have the meats.

I’m sorry.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@svigg82 Go Pack Go!!

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

.@arnettwill and I’d pay a monthly fee for it.

[Samuel Sinyangwe @samswey]

If you could have anyone be a voice option for Siri who would you want it be?

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

“Kobe” I whisper as I drive my car off the top level of a parking garage landing on a dumpster 5 stories below

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@CJRegularGuy I’m on board.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@olaniyi68406671 No

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

The monster next door.

[Molly Beck @MollyBeck]

Am I the only human who doesn’t care for Reese’s

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@jessetyler @BankofAmerica Make sure to call the FTC identity theft hotline. [phone].

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@BArmstrong13 @SCOTTHALLNWO Say hello to the bad guy

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

@MollyBeck As someone who dances with cheese, I approve this message.

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

🤣👌

[Cane @Caneisthename]

So my nephew was Matt Foley for Halloween. This is one of the best impersonations Ive ever seen. Maybe my proudest moment as an uncle 😂
@nbcsnl

[Paul Lanier @DanceWithCheese]

Thank God they’re giving this multimillionaire a new Corvette #Strasburg #WorldSeries2019

[Big Supernaturals @UweBollocks]

Same energy