Danimessione💙♥️

Friendly, jovial & a lover of Barcelona

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@adidasfootball The greatest footballer to ever kick a football...the impending end is here

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

🚨🗣️Leo Messi: "The moment has arrived. I leave in peace, I gave it my all. This shirt was my dream, my pride, and my life."

"Thank you for loving me so much. I will always carry you with me."

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@Wizarab10 This fight will never have an end

[HARRY™ @Olalekan_000]

Ever since Messi became a doctor, Portugal has been healing 😂

[Prema @Prema_Chinweze]

Hi Omotolani, if you really want to know anything about weight gain and loss, I think you should consult the man with the highest degree in his country.

He pulls 91 goals in a calendar year while being “fat”. I believe he can help you achieve what you want, while also teaching you how to defy law and gravity.

His name is Dr. Messi. Go, and come back with your testimony. 😌🐐

[Prema @Prema_Chinweze]

This has to be the best international break. 😂😂😂😂😂

Started off with Arsenal stinker, then Manchester City saga, Dr Messi’s upcoming game and award, but nothing, absolutely nothing tops this Ronaldo’s disgrace. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Person fool enter 41 years, instead of una to call am to order, una dey hide mouth. Now Jesus don wipe am cord for neck as them wipe okpa woman for temple. 😂😂😂😂😂

[Prema @Prema_Chinweze]

“We didn’t retire at 39”

No you didn’t, but them don pursue you. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@TouchlineX I have no issues with Ronaldo but his fans who sees nothing wrong in all of these and still keep up defending him

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@tobilobaphotog @TouchlineX Abi yabaleft

[Ifeanyi Chukwuani @mindaffairss]

I'm now 31. I can't work as a graduate trainee in most banks or Fintech in Nigeria due to age.

Their criteria is always;
> below 27
> NYSC certificate
>2.1
> atleasg 1yr experience

But if I manage to stay alive till 75yrs, when my brain cells will need more sleep then I'll be more than qualified to be the president of Nigeria that will determine the existence of any bank or industry in the country.
A single Policy made by President Tinubu on May 29th 2023 threw over 30million people below poverty line.

He doesn't have a first class.
He didn't go to any university.
He's not young.

But he's qualified to rule Nigeria because the criteria to rule Nigerians is to be dubious and incompetent.

Make it make sense

We designed a system to have the best in Private sectors and the worst in Politics running the Affairs of the entire nation.

Judicious in Micro economics but dastardly stupid in macroeconomic conditions.

[Prema @Prema_Chinweze]

It’s Manchester City’s 114 charges that stopped Man U from winning 5 games in a row too? 😂😂😂😂😂

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@great_buike007 @koCyrus6 You're salty but I like you

[chief sọm @chisomholic]

Lmao she was "begging" stroking the guy's ego, but she was getting paid per meet.

There's no way to spin this that doesn't still lead to paying for tots. He'll book hotel, buy food, and pay her transport. He's losing 100k to 200k daily while she just shows up to enjoy herself.

The man outrightly paying 5k to shag a saleswoman is smarter than the "good man" that meets the same saleswoman online, initiates a 6-month talking stage during which he'll send valentine package, birthday gifts, period care, plan shopping and dates, and even place her on monthly allowance just to get her attention but he doesn't get a chance to at least sniff the last chair she sat on because she's too busy spending time with the bad boys that buy her drinks and slut her out the very first time they meet at the club.

All the talk about "see wetin you carry" by that feminist was to make the guy feel good and get him to splurge more cash. Do you know the size of bombs Lagos plumbers and bus conductors are carrying? Why isn't she obsessed with them but with a rich guy instead? It's because she enjoys his money. If he had withheld funds from the onset she'd have fled almost immediately.

An independent feminist is still somehow dependent on a man's money. There's nothing in his boxers that can compete with her extensive collections of sex toys and machines.

[Danimessione💙♥️ @Danimessione]

@ann_tereza Most of the members that goes to watch the El Clasico might not rerun back after the match.

Then there's the issue of those who won't continue with the payment

[🇦🇷 Nari 💙❤️ @Messifangirl99]

No version of Cristiano Ronaldo was a better dribbler than this 8 year old version of Lionel Messi. I’ll die on that hill.

[TheGrEAtGuYLaNRaY @LaNRaY_SHeeRan]

Even if we beat them 0-5 today we can never win the league. To win the league you have to be the best team in the league. We have more hope of winning the ucl than the league. Nobody can stop Barca in this league. Not us not tico & definitely not the bums in the league. Let it go

[T I M M I T O M 🤴 @timmosion]

Okechukwu Okeke
Occupation; Farmer
Age: 98
Wife: 6
Children: 47
Grandchildren: 86
Cause of death: Old age

Lazarus Ademuyiwa
Occupation: Carpenter
Age: 115
Wife: 11
Children: 56
Grandchildren: 132
Cause of death: Old Age.

Isa Salishu Zakari
Occupation: Tailor
Age: 109
Wife: 4
Children: 38
Grandchildren: 73
Cause of death: Old Age

Dr. Benson Dube (Ph.D)
Occupation: Lecturer
Age: 56
Wife: 1
Children: 2
Grandchildren: 0
Cause of death: High Blood Pressure and Stress

Samuel Julius
Occupation: Bank Manager
Age: 53
Wife: 1
Children; 3
Grandchildren; 0
Cause of death; BP, Sugar

I am not saying anything. It is up to you to give your own interpretation... Na wao... 🤔🤔🤔

#copied

[ChinazaVictoria @Love_Victoria17]

Fuck Palestine, and its supporters all over the world.

You don’t start a war, lose the war and cry about genocide.

If you wanted peace, and if you cared about your citizens, you shouldn’t have started a war.

Again, FUCK PALESTINE AND ITS SUPPORTERS!!

No sane person cares!

[Jephthah @_DynamiteJeph]

Out of my 5 UCLs 3 na intensity league hand I collect am.
My favourite os 😂

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

A 37 years old married woman is currently 6 weeks pregnant.

She has been married for more than 7 years without any child (I don't want to state the exact number of years).

She and her husband have both subjected themselves to several tests and they're fine.

They have both been very transparent with their individual results and have been "waiting on the lord" all these years.

However, now she's pregnant.

And the pregnancy is not for her husband but for one of her exes who is also married with his own kids.

The ex doesn't know that she is pregnant and her husband doesn't know that she's pregnant.

She desperately wants to become a mother and is ruling out abortion.

Her problem is how to break the news to her husband and she's hoping that the child will at least look more like her than her ex, so that there won't be any suspicions.

After reading, I had to swallow spit because this one is not what I would usually give any advise on.

She's 37 and needs a child. And she's banking on the fact that since her husband is medically fine, he will be happy that "God has finally answered their prayers".

And she's willing to take the secret to her grave. No one else knows this secret except me, her, God and devil.

AJD.